Remember when I posted about speaking for free at conferences? And everybody got so upset? Because, you know... community!

Somebody tell me how this is any different.

When a conference chooses not to offer its speakers even a modest stipend beyond expenses (and let's not even begin to discuss the conferences who don't bother covering expenses), they are essentially asking the speaker to do all that work for free. Just like asking a musician to use his music for free. And some musicians will do it for "the exposure", because they want the gig credit to list on their website more than they want the money. But at some point, the band needs to be paid, or else they break up and great music goes unplayed.

Just sayin'.

A while back, I mentioned that I had co-founded a startup (LiveTheLook); I'm saddened to report that just after Halloween, my co-founder and I split up, and I'm no longer affiliated with the company except as an adviser and equity shareholder. There were a lot of reasons for the split, most notably that we had some different ideas on how to execute and how to spend the limited seed money we'd managed to acquire, but overall, we just weren't communicating well.

While I'm sad to no longer be involved with LtL, I wish Francesca and the company nothing but success for the future, and in the meantime I'm exploring options and figuring out what my next great adventure will be. It's not the greatest time of the year (the "dead zone" between Thanksgiving and Christmas) to be doing it, but fortunately I've gotten a few leads that may turn out to be hits. We'll have to see. And, while we're sorting that out, I've got plans for things to work on in the meantime, including a partnership effort with my eldest son on a game he invented.

So, what I'm saying here is that if anyone's desperate for consulting, now's a great time to reach out, because I can be bought.

Too often, geeks are called upon to leverage their technical expertise (which, to most non-technical peoples' perspective, is an all-encompassing uni-field, meaning if you are a DBA, you can fix a printer, and if you are an IT admin, you know how to create a cool HTML game) on behalf of their friends and family, often without much in the way of gratitude. But sometimes, you just gotta get your inner charitable self on, and what's a geek to do then? Doctors have "Doctors Without Boundaries", and lawyers can always do work "pro bono" for groups like the Innocence Project and so on, but geeks....? Sure, you could go and join the Peace Corps, but that's hardly going to really leverage your skills, and Lord knows, there's a ton of places (charities) that could use a little IT love while you're off in a damp and dismal jungle somewhere.

(Not you, Seattle. You're just damp today. Dismal won't be for another few months, when it's raining for weeks on end.)

(As if in response, the rain comes down even harder.)

About five or so years ago, a Microsoft employee realized that geeks didn't really have an outlet for their desires to volunteer and help out in their communities through the skills they have patiently mastered. So Chris created GiveCamp, an organization dedicated to hosting "GiveCamps" all over the US, bringing volunteer developers, designers, and other IT professionals together with charities that need some IT love, whether that's in the form of a new mobile app, some touch-up on the website, a port from a Microsoft Access app to something even remotely more modern, or whatever.

Seattle GiveCamp is coming up, October 11-13, at the Microsoft Commons. No technical bias is implied by that--GiveCamp isn't an evangelism event, it's a "let's help people" event. Bring your Java, PHP, Python, and yes, maybe even your Perl, and create some good karma for groups that are doing good things. And for those of you not local to Seattle, there's lots of other GiveCamps being planned all over the country--consider volunteering at one nearby.

In the past, I've been asked about my thoughts on conferences and the potential "death" of conferences, and the question came up again more recently in a social setting. It's been a while since I commented on it, and if anything, my thoughts have only gotten sharper and clearer.

On speaking professionally

When you go to the dentist's office, who do you want holding the drill--the "enthused, excited amateur", or the "practiced professional"?

The use of the term "professional" here, by the way, is not in its technical use of the term, meaning "one who gets paid to perform a particular task", but more in a follow-on to that, meaning, "one who takes their commitment very seriously, and holds themselves to the same morals and ethics as one who would be acting in a professional capacity, particularly with an eye towards actually being paid to perform said task at some point". There is an implicit separation between someone who plays football because they love it, for example, going out on Sunday afternoons and body-slamming other like-minded individuals just because of the adrenaline rush and the male bonding, and those who go out on Sunday afternoons and command a rather decently-sized salary ($300k at a minimum, I think?) to do so. Being a professional means that not only is there a paycheck associated with the activity, but a number of responsibilities--this means not engaging in stupid activity that prevents you from being able to perform your paid activity. In the aforementioned professional athlete's case, this means not going out and doing backflips on a dance floor (*ahem*, Gronkowski) or playing some other sport at a dangerous level of activity. (In the professional speaker's case, it means arranging travel plans to arrive at the conference at least a day before your session--never the day of--and so on.)

For a lot of people, speaking at an event is an opportunity for them to share their passion and excitement about a given topic--and I never want to take that opportunity away from them. By all means, go out and speak--and maybe in so doing, you will find that you enjoy it, and will be willing to put the kind of time and energy required into doing it well.

Because, really, at the end of the day, the speakers you see in the industry that are very, very good at what they do, they weren't just "born" that way. They got that way the same way professional athletes got that way, by doing a lot of preparation and work behind the scenes. They got that way because they got a lot of "first team reps", speaking at a variety of events. And they continue to get better because they continue to speak, which means continuously putting effort and energy into new talks, into revising old talks, and so on.

But all of that time can't be for free, or else people won't do it.

Go back to the amateur athlete scenario: the more time said athlete has to work at a different job to pay the bills, the less time they have to prep and master their athletic skills. This is no different for speakers--if someone is already spending 8 hours a day working, and another 6 to 8 hours a day sleeping, then that's 8 to 10 hours in the day for everything else, including time spent with the family, eating, personal hygiene, and so on, including whatever relaxation time they can carve out. (And yes, we all need some degree of relaxation time.) When, exactly, is this individual, excited, passionate, enthused (or not), supposed to get those "first team reps" in? By sacrificing something else: time with the family, sleep, a hobby, whatever.

Don't you think that they deserve some kind of compensation for that time?

I know, I know, the usual response is, "But they're giving back to the community!" Yes, I know, you never really figured anything out on your own, you just ran off to StackOverflow or Google and found all the code you needed in order to learn the new technology--it was never any more effort on your own part than that. You OWE the community this engagement. And, by the way, you should also owe them all the code you ever write, for the same reason, because it's not like your employer ever gave you anything for that code, and it's not like you did all that research and study for the code you work on for them.

See, the tangled threads of "why" we do something are often way too hard to unravel. So let's instead focus on the "what" you did. You submitted an abstract, you created an outline, you concocted some slides, you built some demos, you practiced your talk, you delivered it to the audience, and you submitted yourself to "life's slings and arrows" in the form of evaluations. And for all that, the conference organizers owe you nothing? In fact, you're required to pay for the privilege of doing all that?

On "professional" conferences

One dangerous trend I see in conferences, and it's not the same one I saw in 2009, is that the main focus of a conference is shifting; no longer is it a gathering of like-minded professionals who want to improve their technical skills by learning from others. Instead, it's turning into a gathering of people who want to party, play board games, gorge themselves on bacon, drink themselves to a stupor, play in a waterpark or go catch a Vegas show with naked women in it. Somehow, "professional developer conference" has taken on all the overtones of a Bacchanalian orgy, all in the name of "community".

Don't get me wrong--I think it can be useful to blow off some steam during a show, particularly because for most people, absorbing all this new information is mentally exhausting, and you need time to process it, both socially (in the form of hallway conversations) and physically (meaning, go give your body something to do while your mind is churning away). But when the focus of the conference shifts from "speakers" to "bacon bar", that's a dangerous, dangerous sign.

And you know what the first sign is that the conference doesn't think it's principal offering is the technical content? When they won't even cover the speakers' costs to be at that event.

Seriously, think about it for a moment: if the principal focus of this event is the exchange of intellectual and industrial information, through the medium of a lecture given by an individual, then where should your money go? The bacon bar? Or towards making sure that you have the best damn lecturers your budget can afford?

When a conference doesn't offer to pick up airfare and hotel, then in my mind that conference is automatically telling the world, "We're willing to bring in the best speakers that are willing to do this all for free!" And how many of you would be willing to eat at a restaurant that said, "We're willing to bring in the best chefs that are willing to cook for free!"? Or go to a hospital that brings in "the best doctors that are willing to operate for free!"?

And how many of you are willing to part of your own money to go to it?

For community events like CodeCamps, it's an understood proposition that this is more about the networking and community-building than it is about the quality of the information you're going to get, and frankly, given that the CodeCamp is a free event, there's also an implicit "everybody here is a volunteer" that goes with it that explains--and, to my mind, encourages--people who've never spoken before to get up and speak.

But when you're a CodeMash, a devLink, or some of these other shows that are charging you, the attendee, a non-trivial amount of money to attend, and they're not covering speakers' expenses at a minimum, then they're telling you that your money is going towards bacon bars and waterparks, not the quality of the information you're receiving.

Yes, there are some great speakers who will continue to do those events, and Gods' honest truth, if I had somebody to cover my mortgage and/or paid me to be there, I'd love to do that, too. But many of those people who are paid by a company to be speaking at events are called "evangelists" and "salespeople", and developers have already voted with their feet often enough to make it easy to say that we don't want a conference filled with "evangelists" and "salespeople". You want an unbiased technical view of something? You want people to talk about a technology that don't have an implicit desire to sell it to you, so that they can tell you both what it's good for and where it sucks? Then you want speakers who aren't being paid by a company to be there; instead, you want speakers who can give you the "harsh truth" about a technology without fear of reprisal from their management. (And yes, there are a lot of evangelists who are very straight-shooting speakers, and I love 'em, every one. But there's a lot more of them out there who aren't.)

In many cases, for the conference to deliver both the bacon bar and the speakers' T&E, it would require your attendance fee to go up some. By rough back-of-the-napkin calculations, probably about $50 for each of you, depending on the venue, the length of the conference, the number of speakers (and the number of talks they each do), and the total number of attendees. Is it worth it?

When you go to the dentist's office, do you want the "excited, enthused amateur", or the "practiced professional"?

Curious to know what Ted's been up to? Head on over to here and sign up.

Yes, I'm a CTO of a bootstrap startup. (Emphasis on the "bootstrap" part of that--always looking for angel investors!) And no, we're not really in "stealth mode", I'll be happy to tell you what we're doing if you drop me an email directly; we're just trying to "manage the message", in startup lingo.

We're only going to be under wraps for a few more weeks before the real site is live. And then.... *crossing fingers*

Don't be too surprised if the tone of some of my blog posts shifts away from low-level tech stuff and starts to include some higher-level stuff, by the way. I'm not walking away from the tech, by any stretch, but becoming a CTO definitely has opened my eyes, so to speak, that the entrepreneur CTO has some very different problems to think about than the enterprise architect does.

By this point, everybody who's even within shouting distance of a device connected to the Internet has heard the news: Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft, is on his way out, retiring somewhere in the next twelve months and stepping aside to allow someone else to run the firm. And, rumor has it, this was not his choice, but a decision enforced upon the firm by the Microsoft Board.

You know, as much as I've disagreed with some of the decisions that've come out of the company in the last five years or so, I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness for how this ended. Ballmer, by all accounts, is a nice guy. I say that not as someone who's ever had to deal with him in person, but based on hearsay reports and two incidents where I've been in his general proximity, one of which was absolutely hilarious. Truth: when the cookie guard in that story told him that, he didn't, as some might imagine, immediately pull rank and start yelling "Do you know who I am?!?" In fact, he looked entirely like he was going to put the cookies back when another staff member rushed up, whispered in the first's ear, and when the first one apologized profusely, he just grinned--not meanly, but seemingly in the humor of the situation--and took a bite. He didn't have to play it so nicely, but how you treat the "little people" that touch on your life is a great indicator of the kind of person you are, deep down.

And count me a Ballmer-apologist, perhaps, but I have to wonder how much of his decision-making was made on faulty analysis and data from his underlings. Some of that is his own problem--a CEO should always be looking for ways to independently verify the information his people are reporting to him, and people who tell him only what he wants to hear should be immediately fired--but I genuinely think he was a guy just trying to do the best he could.

And maybe, in truth, that was never really enough.

Regardless, should the man suddenly appear at my doorstep, I would invite him in for dinner, offer him a beer, and talk about our kids' football teams. (They play in the same pre-high school football league.) He may not have been the great leader that Microsoft needed in the post-Gates years, but I wouldn't be surprised if Microsoft has to go a few iterations before they find that leader, if they ever can. A lot has to happen exactly right for them to find that person, and unless Bill has suddenly decided he's ready to take up the mantle again, it's something of a long shot.

Good luck, Microsoft.

Apparently I have become something of a resource on programming interviews: I've had three people tell me they read the last two blog posts, one because his company is hiring and he wants his people to be doing interviews right, and two more expressing shock that I still get interviewed--which I don't really think is all that fair, more on that in a moment--and relief that it's not just them getting grilled on areas that they don't believe to be relevant to the job--and more on that in a moment, too.

A couple of things have emerged in the last few weeks since the saga described earlier, so I thought I'd wrap the thing up with a final post. Besides, I like things that come in threes.

First, go see this video. Jonathan pinged me about it shortly after the second blog post came out, and damn if he and Mitch don't nail a bunch of things directly on the head. Specifically, I want to call out two lists they put into their slides (which I can't find online, or I'd include a link, sorry).

One, what are the things you're trying to answer in an interview? They call it out as three questions an interviewer or interview team is seeking to answer:

1. Can they do the job?
2. Will they be motivated?
3. Would they get along with the team?

But the other two? Spot-on.

And this brings me to my interim point: I'm not opposed to a programming test. I think I gave the impression to a number of readers that I think that I'm too good or too famous or whatever to be tested on my skills; that's the furthest thing from the truth. I think you most certainly should be verifying that I have the technical chops to do the job you want me to do; what I do want to suggest, however, is that for a number of candidates (myself included), there are ways to determine my technical chops without forcing me to stand at a whiteboard and code with a pen. For some candidates, you can examine their GitHub profile and see how many repos they have that're public (and have a look through some of the code they wrote). In fact, what I think would be a great interview question would be to look at a repo they haven't touched in a year, find some element of the code inside there, and ask them to explain what they were thinking when they wrote it. If it's well-documented, or if it's simple code, they'll be able to do that fairly quickly (once they context-swap to the codebase--got to give them time to remember, after all). If it's a complex or tricky bit, and they can't explain it...

... well, you just learned something about the code they write, now didn't you?

In my case, I have no public GitHub profile to choose from, but I'm an edge case, in that you can also watch my videos, and/or read my books and articles. Granted, there's a chance that I have amazing editors who save me from incredible stupidity and make me look good... but what are the chances that somebody is doing that for over a decade, across several technology platforms, and all without any credit? Probably pretty close to nil, IMHO. I'm not unique in this case--there's others whose work more or less speaks for itself, and I think you're disrespecting the candidate if you don't do your homework on the interview first.

Which, by the way, brings up another point: As an interviewer, you have a responsibility to do your homework on the candidate before they walk in the door, particularly if you're expecting them to have done their homework on your firm. Don't waste my time (and yours, particularly since yours is probably a LOT more expensive than mine, considering that a lot of companies are doing "interview loops" these days with a team of people, and all of their time adds up). If you're not going to take my candidacy seriously, why should I take your job or job offer or interview seriously?

The second list Jon and Mitch call out is their "interviewing antipatterns" list:

• The Riddler
• The Disorienter
• The Stone Tablet
• The Knuth Fanatic
• The Cram Session
• Groundhog Day
• The Gladiator
• Hear No Evil

Second, go read this article. I don't like that he has "Dig into algorithms, data structures, code organization, simplicity" as one of his takeaways, because I think most interviewers are going to see "algorithms" and "data structures" and stop there, but the rest seems pretty spot-on.

Third, ask yourself the critical question: What, exactly, are we doing wrong? You think you're an agile organization? Then ask yourself how much feedback you get on your interviewing process, and how you would know if you screwed it up. Yes, you will know if hire a bad candidate, but how will you know if you're letting good candidates go? Maybe you're the hot company that everybody wants to work at, and you can afford to throw some wheat out with the chaff a few times, but you're not going to be in that position for long if you do, and more importantly, you're not going to be in that position for long, period. If you don't start trying to improve your hiring process now, by the time you need to, it'll be too late.

Fourth, practice! When unit-testing came out, many programmers said, "I don't need to test my code, my code is great!", and then everybody had a good laugh at their expense. Yet I see a lot of companies say essentially the same thing about their hiring and interview practices. How do you test an interview process? Easy--interview yourselves. Work with known-good conditions (people you know, people who work with you already, and so on), and run them through the process, but with the critical stipulation that you must treat them exactly as you would a candidate. If you look at your tech lead and say, "Yeah, this is where I'd ask you a technical question, but I already know...", then unless you're prepared to do that for your candidates, you're cheating yourself on the feedback. It's exactly like saying, "Yeah, this is where I'd write a test checking to see how we handle a null in that second parameter, but I already know...". If you're not prepared to do the latter, don't do the former. (And if you are prepared to do the latter, then I probably don't want to work with you anyway.)

Fifth, remember: Interviewing is not easy! It's not easy on the candidates, and it shouldn't be on you. It would be great if you could just test somebody on one dimension of themselves and call it good, but as much as people want to pretend that a programmer is just a code-spewing cog in a machine, they're not. If you want well-rounded candidates, then you must interview all aspects of that well-roundedness to determine if they are or not.

Whatever you interview for, that's what you will get.

Although it seems to have dipped somewhat in recent years, periodically I get requests from conferences or webinars or other presentation-oriented organizations/events that demand that the material I present be "exclusive", usually meaning that I've never delivered said content at any other organized event (conference or what-have-you). And, almost without exception, I refuse to speak at those events, or else refuse to abide by the "exclusive" tag (and let them decide whether they still want me to speak for them).

People (by which I mean "organizers"--most speakers seem to get it intuitively if they've spoken at more than five or so conferences in their life) have expressed some surprise and shock at my attitude. So, I decided to answer some of the more frequently-asked questions that I get in response to this, partly so that I don't have to keep repeating myself (yeah, right, as if said organizers are going to read my blog) and partly because putting something into a blog is a curious form of sanity-check, in that if I'm way off, commenters will let me know posthaste.

Thus...:

• "Nobody will come to our conference/listen to our webinar if the content is the same as elsewhere." This is, by far, the first and most-used reaction I get, and let me be honest: if people came to your conference or fired up your webinar solely because of the information contained, they would never come to your conference or listen to your webinar. The Internet is huge. Mind-staggeringly huge. Anything you could possibly ever want about any topic you could ever possibly imagine, it's captured it somewhere. (There's a corollary to that, too; I call it "Whittington's Law", which states, "Anything you can possibly imagine, the Internet not only has it, but a porn site version of it, as well".) You will never have exclusive content, because unless I invented the damn thing, and I've never shown it to anybody or ever used it before, somebody will likely have used it, written a blog post or a video tutorial or what-have-you, and posted it to the Internet. Therefore, by definition, it can't be exclusive.
• But even on top of that first point, no presentation given by the same guy using the same slides is ever exactly the same. Anybody who's ever seen me give a talk twice knows that a lot of how I give my presentations is extremely ad-hoc; I like to write code on the fly, incorporate audience feedback and participation, and sometimes I even get caught up in a tangent that we explore along the way. None of my presentations are ever scripted, such that if you filmed two of them and played them side-by-side, you'll see marked and stark differences between them. And frankly, if you're a conference organizer, you should be quite happy about this, because one of the first rules of presenting is to "Know thy audience", but if you can't know your audience ahead of time, what course is left to you but to poll the audience when you first get started, and adjust your presentation based on that?
• "Sure, the experience won't be as great as if they were in the room at the time, but if they can get the content elsewhere, why should they come to our conference?" Well.... Honestly, that question really needs to be rephrased: "Given all the vast amounts of information out there on the Internet, why should someone come to your conference, period?" If you and your fellow organizers can't answer that question, then my content isn't going to help you in the slightest. TechEd and other big conferences that stream all of their content to the Web seem to be coming to the realization that there is something about the in-person experience that still creates value for attendees, so maybe you should be thinking about that, instead. Yes, you will likely lose a few ticket sales from people watching the content online, but if those numbers are staggeringly large, it means that your conference offered nothing but content in the first place, and you were going to see those numbers drop off significantly anyway once the majority of your audience figured out that the content is available elsewhere. And for free, no less.
• "But why is this so important to you?" Because, my friends, everything gets better with practice, and that includes presentations. When I taught for DevelopMentor lo those many years ago, one of the fundamental rules was that "You don't really know a deck until you've delivered it five times". (I call it "Sumida's Law", after the guy who trained me there.) What's more, the more often you've presented on a subject, the more easily you see the "right" order to the topics, and better ways of explaining and analogizing those topics occur to you over time. ("Halloway's Corollary to Sumida's Law": "Once you've delivered a deck five times, you immediately want to rewrite it all".) To be quite honest with you all, the first time I give a talk is much like the beta release of any software product: it takes user interaction and feedback before you start to see the non-obvious bugs.

I still respect the conference or webinar host that insists on exclusive content, and I wish you well finding your next speaker.

A couple of people had asked how the story with the company that triggered the "I Hate Programming Tests" post ended, so I figured I'd follow up with the rest of that story, and some thoughts.

After handing in the disjoint-set solution I'd come up with, the VP pondered things for a bit, then decided to bring me in for an in-person interview loop with a half-dozen of the others that work there. I said I'd be happy to, and came in, did a brief meet-and-greet with the group of folks I'd be interviewing with (plus, I think, a few others), and then we got to the first interview mono-a-mono, and after a brief "Are you familiar with MVC?", we get into...

... another algorithm challenge. A walk-up-to-the-whiteboard-and-code-this challenge.

OK, whatever. I already said I'm not great with algorithmic challenges like this, but maybe this guy didn't get the memo or he's just trying to see how I reason things through. So, sure, let's attack this, even though I haven't done this kind of problem in like twenty years. (One of the challenges was "How do you sort a file of integer numbers when you can't store the entire collection of numbers in memory?", which wasn't an unfair challenge, just not something that I generally have to mess with. Honestly, in the working world, I'll start by going through the file number by number--or do chunks of the file in parallel using actors, if the file is large enough--and shove them into a database that's indexed on that number. But, of course, as with all of these kinds of challenges, the interviewer continues to throw constraints at the problem until we either get to the solution he wants or Ted runs out of imagination; in this case, I think it was the latter.) End result: not a positive win.

Next interviewer walks in, he wasn't there for the meet-and-greet, which means he has even less context about me than the guy before me, and he immediately asks... another algorithmic challenge. "If you have a tree of nodes, and you want to get a list of the nodes in rank order" (meaning, a breadth-first search, where each node now gets a "sibling" pointer pointing to the sibling on its right in the tree, or null if it's the rightmost node at that depth level) "how would you do it?" Again, a fail, and now I'm getting annoyed. I admitted, from the outset, that this is not the kind of stuff I'm good at. We've already made that point. I accept the "F" on that part of my report card. What's even more annoying, the interviewer keeps sighing and drumming his fingers in an obvious state of "Why is this bozo wasting my time like this, I could be doing something vastly more important" and so on, which, gotta say, was kind of distracting. End result: total fail.

By this point, I'm really annoyed. The VP comes to meet me, asks how it's going, and I tell him, flatly, "Sucks." He nods, says, yeah, we're going to kill the interview loop early, but I want to talk to you over lunch (with another employee along for company) and then have you meet with one more person before we end the exercise.

Lunch goes quite well, actually, and the last interview of the day is with their Product Manager, who then presents me with a challenge: "Suppose I want to build an online system for ordering pizzas. Customers can order pizzas, in other words. Build for me either the UI or the data model for this system." OK, this is different. I choose the data model, and build a ridiculously simple one-to-many relationship of customers to orders, and a similar one-to-many for orders to pizzas. She then proceeds to complicate the model step by step, sometimes in response to my questions, sometimes out of the blue, until we have a fairly complex roughly-sketched data model on the whiteboard. Result: win.

The VP at this point is on the horns of a dilemma: two of the engineers in the interview loop are convinced I'm an idiot. They're clearly voting no on this. But he's read my articles, he's seen some of my presentations, he knows I'm not the idiot the others assume me to be, and he's now trying to figure out what his next steps are. He takes a week to think about it, then emails me yesterday to say that it's not going to work.

Here's my thoughts, and folks, if you interview people or are part of an interview process, I'm trying to generalize this beyond this one experience to take it into a larger context:

• Know what you want to prove with your interview. I get the feeling that this interview loop was essentially a repeat of every interview loop they've ever done before, with no consideration to the candidate himself. An interview is a chance for the company to get to know the candidate better, in order to make a well-informed decision. In this particular case, trying to suss out my skills around algorithms was a wasted effort--I'd already conceded that point. Therefore, find new questions! Find new areas in which to challenge the candidate to see what their skills are. (If you can't think of something else to ask, then you're not really thinking about the interview all that hard, and you're just going through the motions.)
• Look for the proof you seek in other areas. With the growth of things like Github and open source projects in general, it's becoming easier and easier to prove to yourself as a company that a candidate does or does not have the coding skills you're looking for. Did this guy submit some pull requests to a project? Did this guy post some blogs about interesting technical tidbits? (Or, Lord help us, write articles for major publications?) Did this guy author an open-source project, or work on a project that other people know about? Look at it this way: If Anders Heljsberg, Bjarne Stroustrup or James Gosling walk through the door, are you going to put them through the same interview questions you put the random recruiter-found candidate goes through? Or are you willing to consider their established body of work and call it covered? As an interviewer, it behooves you to look for that established body of work, so that you can spend the interview loop looking at other things.
• Be clear in what you want. One of the things the VP said to me was that he was looking for somebody who had a similar skillset to what he had; that is, had a architectural view of things and an interest in managing the people involved. By then submitting my candidacy to a series of tests that didn't really test for those things, he essentially torpedoed whatever chances it might have had.
• Be willing to assert your authority. If you're the VP of the company, and the people who work for you disagree with your decisions, sometimes the Right Thing To Do is to simply overrule them. Yes, I know, it's not all politically correct to do that, and if you do it too often you'll ruin whatever sense of empowerment that you want your employees to have within the company, but there are times when you just need to assert that authority and say, "You know what? I appreciate y'all's input, but this is one of those cases where I think I have a different enough perspective that I am going to just overrule and do it anyway." Sometimes you'll be right, yay, and sometimes you'll be wrong, boo, but there is a reason you're the VP or the Director or the Team Lead, and not the others. Leadership means making hard decisions sometimes.
• Be willing to change up the process. So your candidate comes in, and they're a junior programmer who's just graduated college, with zero experience. Do you then start asking them questions about their experience? That would be a waste of their time and yours. So you'll have to come up with new questions and a new approach. Not all interviews have to be carbon copies of each other, because certainly your candidates aren't carbon copies of each other. (At least, you'd better hope not, or else you're going to end up with a pretty single-dimensional staff.) If they've proven their strength in some category, or admitted a lack in another, then drop your standard set of questions, and go to something different. There is no honor in asking the exact same questions of every candidate.
• Be willing to hire somebody that offers complementary skills. If your company already has a couple of engineers who know algorithms really well, then hire somebody for a different skillset. Likewise, if your company already has a couple of people who are really good with customers, you don't need another one. Look for people that have skills that fall outside the realm of what you currently have, and trust that when that individual is presented with a problem that attacks their weakness, they'll turn to somebody else in the firm to help them with it. When presented with an algorithmic challenge, you're damn well sure that I'm going to turn to somebody next to me and say, "Hey, dude? Help me walk through this for a bit, would you?" And, in turn, if that engineer has to give a presentation to a customer, and they turn to me and say, "Hey, dude? Help me work on this presentation, would you?", I'm absolutely ready to chip in. That's how teams are built. That's why we have teams in the first place.

And that, in turn, raises my next challenge: I want to create a website, just a static thing, that has a series of questions that, I think, are far better coding challenges than the ones I was given. I don't know when or if I'm going to get to this, but I gotta believe that any of the problems out of the book "Programming Challenges" (by Skiena and Revilla, Springer-Verlag, 2003) or the website from which those challenges were drawn, would be a much better test of the candidate's ability, particularly if you look at the ancillary parts of the challenge: do they write tests, how do they write their tests, do they pair well with somebody, and so on. THOSE are the things you really care about, not how well they remember their college lessons, which are easily accessible over Google or StackOverflow.

Bottom line: Your time is precious, people. Interview well, or just don't bother.

It's official: I hate them.

Don't get me wrong, I understand their use and the reasons why potential employers give them out. There's enough programmers in the world who aren't really skilled enough for the job (whatever that job may be) that it becomes necessary to offer some kind of litmus test that a potential job-seeker must pass. I get that.

And it's not like all the programming tests in the world are created equal: some are pretty useful ways to demonstrate basic programming facilities, a la the FizzBuzz problem. Or some of the projects I've seen done, a la the "Robot on Mars" problem that ThoughtWorks handed out to candidates (a robot lands on Mars, which happens to be a cartesian grid; assuming that we hand the robot these instructions, such as LFFFRFFFRRFFF, where "L" is a "turn 90 degrees left", "R" is a "turn 90 degrees right", and "F" is "go forward one space, please write control code for the robot such that it ends up at the appropriate-and-correct destination, and include unit tests), are good indicators of how a candidate could/would handle a small project entirely on his/her own.

But the ones where the challenge is to implement some algorithmic doodad or other? *shudder*.

For example, one I just took recently asks candidates to calculate the "disjoint sets" of a collection of sets; in other words, given sets of { 1, 2, 3 }, { 1, 2, 4 } and { 1, 2, 5 }, the result should be sets of {1,2},{3},{4}, and {5}. Do this and calculate the big-O notation for your solution in terms of time and of space/memory.

I hate to say this, but in twenty years of programming, I've never had to do this. Granted, I see the usefulness of it, and granted, it's something that, given large enough sets and large enough numbers of sets, will make a significant difference that it bears examination, but honestly, in times past when I've been confronted with this problem, I'm usually the first to ask somebody next to me how best to think about this, and start sounding out some ideas with them before writing any bit of code. Unit tests to test input and its expected responses are next. Then I start looking for the easy cases to verify before I start attacking the algorithm in its entirety, usually with liberal help from Google and StackOverflow.

But in a programming test, you're doing this alone (which already takes away a significant part of my approach, because being an "external processor", I think by talking out loud), and if it's timed (such as this one was), you're tempted to take a shortcut and forgo some of the setup (which I did) in order to maximize the time spent hacking, and when you end up down a wrong path (such as I did), you have nothing to fall back on.

Granted, I screwed up, in that I should've stuck to my process and simply said, "Here's how far I got in the hour". But when you've been writing code for twenty years, across three major platforms, for dozens of Fortune 500 companies and architected platforms that others will use to build software and services for thousands of users and customers, you feel like you should be able to hack something like this out fairly quickly.

And when you can't, you feel like a failure.

I hate programming tests.

Update: By the way, as always, I would love some suggestions on how to accomplish the disjoint-set problem. I kept thinking I was close, but was missing one key element. I particularly would LOVE a nudge in doing it in a object-functional language, like F# or Scala (I've only attempted it in C# so far). Just a nudge, though--I want to work through it myself, so I learn.

Postscript An analogy hit me shortly after posting this: it's almost as if, in order to test a master carpenter's skill at carpentry, you ask him to build a hammer. After all, if he's all that good, he should be able to do something as simple as affix a metal head to a wooden shaft and have the result be a superior device to anything he could buy off the shelf, right?

Further update: After writing this, I took a break, had some dinner, played a game of Magic: The Gathering with my wife and kids (I won, but I can't be certain they didn't let me win, since they knew I was grumpy about not getting this test done in time), and then came back to it. I built up a series of little steps, backed by unit tests to make sure I was stepping through my attempts at reasoning out the algorithm correctly, backed up once or twice with a new approach, and finally solved it in about three hours, emailing it to the company at 6am (0600 for those of you reading this across the Atlantic or from a keyboard marked "Property of US Armed Forces"), just for grins. I wasn't expecting to get a response, since I was grossly beyond the time allotted, but apparently it was good enough to merit a follow-up interview, so yay for me. Upshot is, though, I have an implementation that works, though now I find myself wondering if there's a way to do it in a functional/no-side-effect/persistent-data-structure kind of way....

I still hate them, though, at least the algorithm-based ones, and in a fleeting moment of transparent honesty, I will admit it's probably because I'm not very good at them, but if you repeat that to anyone I'll deny it as outrageous slander and demand satisfaction, Nerf guns at ten paces.

With my most recent blog post, some of you were a little less than impressed with the idea of using types, One reader, in particular, suggested that:

Your encapsulating type aliases don't... encapsulate :|

Actually, it kinda does. But not in the way you described.

using X = qualified.type;

merely introduces an alias, and will consequently (a) not prevent assignment of
a FirstName to a LastName (b) not even be detectible as such from CLI metadata
(i.e. using reflection).

This is true—the using statement only introduces an alias, in much the same way that C++’s “typedef” does. It’s not perfect, by any real means.

Also, the alias is lexically scoped, and doesn't actually _declare a public name_ (so, it would need to be redeclared in all 'client' compilation units.

(This won't be done, of course, because the clients would have no clue about
this and happily be passing `System.String` as ever).

The same goes for C++ typedefs, or, indeed C++11 template aliases:

using FirstName = std::string;
using LastName = std::string;

You'd be better off using BOOST_STRONG_TYPEDEF (or a roll-your-own version of this thing that is basically a CRTP pattern with some inherited constructors. When your compiler has the latter feature, you could probably do without an evil MACRO).

All of which is also true. Frankly, the “using” statement is a temporary stopgap, simply a placeholder designed to say, “In time, this will be replaced with a full-fledged type.”

And even more to the point, he fails to point out that my “Age” class from my example doesn’t really encapsulate the fact that Age is, fundamentally, an “int” under the covers—because Age possesses type conversion operators to convert it into an int on demand (hence the “implicit” in that operator declaration), it’s pretty easy to get it back to straight “int”-land. Were I not so concerned with brevity, I’d have created a type that allowed for addition on it, though frankly I probably would forbid subtraction, and most certainly multiplication and division. (What does multiplying an Age mean, really?)

See, in truth, I cheated, because I know that the first reaction most O-O developers will have is, “Are you crazy? That’s tons more work—just use the int!” Which, is both fair, and an old argument—the C guys said the same thing about these “object” things, and how much work it was compared to just declaring a data structure and writing a few procedures to manipulate them. Creating a full-fledged type for each domain—or each fraction of a domain—seems… heavy.

Truthfully, this is much easier to do in F#. And in Scala. And in a number of different languages. Unfortunately, in C#, Java, and even C++ (and frankly, I don’t think the use of an “evil MACRO” is unwarranted, if it doesn’t promote bad things). The fact that “doing it right” in those languages means “doing a ton of work to get it right” is exactly why nobody does it—and suffers the commensurate loss of encapsulation and integrity in their domain model.

Another poster pointed out that there is a much better series on this at http://www.fsharpforfunandprofit.com. In particular, check out the series on "Designing with Types"—it expresses everything I wanted to say, albeit in F# (where I was trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to example-code it in C#). By the way, I suspect that almost every linguistic feature he uses would translate pretty easily/smoothly over to Scala (or possibly Clojure) as well.

Another poster pointed out that doing this type-driven design (TDD, anyone?) would create some serious havoc with your persistence. Cry me a river, and then go use a persistence model that fits an object-oriented and type-oriented paradigm. Like, I dunno, an object database. Particularly considering that you shouldn’t want to expose your database schema to anyone outside the project anyway, if you’re concerned about code being tightly coupled. (As in, any other code outside this project—like a reporting engine or an ETL process—that accesses your database directly now is tied to that schema, and is therefore a tight-coupling restriction on evolving your schema.)

Achieving good encapsulation isn’t a matter of trying to hide the methods being used—it’s (partly) a matter of allowing the type system to carry a significant percentage of the cognitive load, so that you don’t have to. Which, when you think on it, is kinda what objects and strongly-typed type systems are supposed to do, isn’t it?

Are you one of those developers who can’t get his/her boss to let you download/prototype/use a Really Cool™ software package that happens to be open-source? Here’s a possible reason why.

For no reason in particular, after installing Cygwin on an old laptop onto which I just dropped Win7, I decided to also drop MinGW32, Cygwin’s main competitor in the “UNIX-on-Windows” space. Wander off to the home page, grab an installer, read the “Getting Started” instructions, and…. down at the bottom, where (as is pretty hip and common these days) random visitors can leave comments or questions to be answered by the project maintainers, we find this exchange:

Re: Getting Started

On April 7th, 2009 mago says:

Hi guys.

Will mingw work on future versions of windows?

I'm upgrading to Vista in a short time and i want to know how much 'upgrading' will make me suffer.

My guess is that you guys at Mingw should develop a new version for Vista?

Or is it just the same? What about the Win32 Api? There are surely additions with newer versions of windows.

Thanks.

Re: Getting Started

On April 7th, 2009 keith says:

I find it really insulting, when someone says "you guys should...".

This is an Open Source project, developed by volunteers in their spare time. You have no right to tell me what I should, or should not do with my spare time. Why should I, rather than you do that?

AFAIK, MinGW already does work with Vista, but why don't you just try it, and see; then contribute on the basis of your experience, either in the form of patches, or failing that, bug reports?

it’s that middle paragraph that will have your boss—any manager responsible for the installation of software within his arena of responsibility, in fact—in fits.

Don’t get me wrong: the project maintainer is clearly well within his rights to express his frustration at the fact that these people keep telling him what he should do, these people (vultures!) who keep leeching off of his hard work, who take and take with no giving back, who…

… are called “customers” in other companies, by the way, and who often have perfectly reasonable requests of the vendors from whom they get their software, because if they had time to build it themselves, they wouldn’t need to download your stuff.

I’ve been having many of the same kinds of “getting started” frustrations with installing Opa onto this same Win7 laptop box, and when I Tweeted about how the Opa experience is clearly not optimal on the Windows platform:

tedneward: @opalang looks like a great idea, but I don't get the feeling they really take Windows (or Win devs) seriously.

And their response was:

@henri_opa: @tedneward We know that Opa on windows is suboptimal and would love new contributors on the windows port in the community.

Which I interpret to mean, “We get that it’s not great, we’re sorry, but it’s not a priority enough for us to fix, so please, fix it yourself and bring that work back to the community.” Which may be great community-facing mojo, but it’s horrible vendor customer service, and it’s a clear turn-off for any attempt I might make to advise a client or customer about using it. Matter of fact, if I can’t even get the silly thing to install and run HelloWorld correctly, you’re better off not claiming Windows as a supported platform in the first place. (Which still goes towards the point that “they’re not really taking Windows or Windows developers seriously as a target market.)

This is the moral equivalent of Delta Airlines telling me, “We’re sorry we lost your bag on the flight, but we don’t have the personnel to go looking for it. If you’d like to come into the back here and rummage around for a while, or make a few phone calls to other Delta offices in other cities, we’d love the contribution.” If I am your customer, if I am the consumer of your product, whether you charged me something for it or not, then you have an implied responsibility to help me when I run into issues—or else you are not really all that concerned about me as a customer, and I won’t ever be able to convince people (for whom this kind of support is expected) to use your stuff. Matter of fact, I won’t even try.

If you’re an open-source project, and you’re trying to gain mindshare, you either think of your users as customers and treat them the way you want to be treated, or you’re just fooling yourself about your adoption, and your “community focus”. You either care about the customer, or you don’t, and if you don’t, then don’t expect customers to care about you, either.

Recently, having been teaching C# for a bit at Bellevue College, I’ve been thinking more and more about the way in which we approach building object-oriented programs, and particularly the debates around types and type systems. I think, not surprisingly, that the way in which the vast majority of the O-O developers in the world approach types and when/how they use them is flat wrong—both in terms of the times when they create classes when they shouldn’t (or shouldn’t have to, anyway, though obviously this is partly a measure of their language), and the times when they should create classes and don’t.

The latter point is the one I feel like exploring here; the former one is certainly interesting on its own, but I’ll save that for a later date. For now, I want to think about (and write about) how we often don’t create types in an O-O program, and should, because doing so can often create clearer, more expressive programs.

A Person

Common object-oriented parlance suggests that when we have a taxonomical entity that we want to represent in code (i.e., a concept of some form), we use a class to do so; for example, if we want to model a “person” in the world by capturing some of their critical attributes, we do so using a class (in this case, C#):

class Person
{
    public string FirstName { get; set; }
    public string LastName { get; set; }
    public int Age { get; set; }
    public bool Gender { get; set; }
}

Granted, this is a pretty simplified case; O-O enthusiasts will find lots of things wrong with this code, most of which have to do with dealing with the complexities that can arise.

From here, there’s a lot of ways in which this conversation can get a lot more complicated—how, where and when should inheritance factor into the discussion, for example, and how exactly do we represent the relationship between parents and children (after all, some children will be adopted, some will be natural birth, some will be disowned) and the relationship between various members who wish to engage in some form of marital status (putting aside the political hot-button of same-sex marriage, we find that some states respect “civil unions” even where no formal ceremony has taken place, many cultures still recognize polygamy—one man, many wives—as Utah did up until the mid-1800s, and a growing movement around polyamory—one or more men, one or more women—looks like it may be the next political hot-button around marriage) definitely depends on the business issues in question…

… but that’s the whole point of encapsulation, right? That if the business needs change, we can adapt as necessary to the changed requirements without having to go back and rewrite everything.

Genders

Consider, for example, the rather horrible decision to represent “gender” as a boolean: while, yes, at birth, there are essentially two genders at the biological level, there are some interesting birth defects/disorders/conditions in which a person’s gender is, for lack of a better term, screwed up—men born with female plumbing and vice versa. The system might need to track that. Or, there are those who consider themselves to have been born into the wrong gender, and choose to live a lifestyle that is markedly different from what societal norms suggest (the transgender crowd). Or, in some cases, the gender may not have even been determined yet: fetuses don’t develop gender until about halfway through the pregnancy.

Which suggests, offhand, that the use of a boolean here is clearly a Bad Idea. But what suggests as its replacement? Certainly we could maintain an internal state string or something similar, using the get/set properties to verify that the strings being set are correct and valid, but the .NET type system has a better answer: Given that there is a finite number of choices to gender—whether that’s two or four or a dozen—it seems that an enumeration is a good replacement:

enum Gender
{
    Male, Female,
    Indeterminate,
    Transgender
}

class Person
{
    public string FirstName { get; set; }
    public string LastName { get; set; }
    public int Age { get; set; }
    public Gender Gender { get; set; }
}

Don’t let the fact that the property and the type have the same name be too confusing—not only does it compile cleanly, but it actually provides some clear description of what’s being stored. (Although, I’ll admit, it’s confusing the first time you look at it.) More importantly, there’s no additional code that needs to be written to enforce only the four acceptable values—or, extend it as necessary when that becomes necessary.

Ages

Similarly, the age of a person is not an integer value—people cannot be negative age, nor do they usually age beyond a hundred or so. Again, we could put code around the get/set blocks of the Age property to ensure the proper values, but it would again be easier to let the type system do all the work:

struct Age
{
    int data;
    public Age(int d)
    {
        Validate(d);
        data = d;
    }

    public static void Validate(int d)
    {
        if (d < 0)
            throw new ArgumentException("Age cannot be negative");
        if (d > 120)
            throw new ArgumentException("Age cannot be over 120");
    }

    // explicit int to Age conversion operator
    public static implicit operator Age(int a)
    { return new Age(a); }

    // explicit Age to int conversion operator
    public static implicit operator int(Age a)
    { return a.data; }
}

class Person
{
    public string FirstName { get; set; }
    public string LastName { get; set; }
    public Age Age { get; set; }
    public Gender Gender { get; set; }
}

Notice that we’re still having to write the same code, but now the code is embodied in a type, which is itself intrinsically reusable—we can reuse the Age type in other classes, which is more than we can say if that code lives in the Person.Age property getter/setter. Again, too, now the Person class really has nothing to do in terms of ensuring that age is maintained properly (and by that, I mean greater than zero and less than 120). (The “implicit” in the conversion operators means that the code doesn’t need to explicitly cast the int to an Age or vice versa.)

Technically, what I’ve done with Age is create a restriction around the integer (System.Int32 in .NET terms) type; were this XSD Schema types, I could do a derivation-by-restriction to restrict an xsd:int to the values I care about (0 – 120, inclusive). Unfortunately, no O-O language I know of permits derivation-by-restriction, so it requires work to create a type that “wraps” another, in this case, an Int32.

Names

Names are another point of problem, in that there’s all kinds of crazy cases that (as much as we’d like to pretend otherwise) turn out to be far more common than we’d like—not only do most people have middle names, but sometimes women will take their husband’s last name and hyphenate it with their own, making it sort of a middle name but not really, or sometimes people will give their children to multiple middle names, Japanese names put family names first, sometimes people choose to take a single name, and so on. This is again a case where we can either choose to bake that logic into property getters/setters, or bake it into a single type (a “Name” type) that has the necessary code and properties to provide all the functionality that a person’s name represents.

So, without getting into the actual implementation, then, if we want to represent names in the system, then we should have a full-fledged “Name” class that captures the various permutations that arise:

class Name
{  
    public Title Honorific { get { ... } }
    public string Individual { get { ... } }
    public string Nickname { get { ... } }
    public string Family { get { ... } }
    public string Full { get { ... } }
    public static Name Parse(string incoming) { ... } 
}

See, ultimately, everything will have to boil back to the core primitives within the language, but we need to build stronger primitives for the system—Name, Title, Age, and don’t even get me started on relationships.

Relationships

Parent-child relationships are also a case where things are vastly more complicated than just the one-to-many or one-to-one (or two-to-one) that direct object references encourage; in the case of families, given how complex the modern American family can get (and frankly, it’s not any easier if we go back and look at medieval families, either—go have a look at any royal European genealogical line and think about how you’d model that, particularly Henry VIII), it becomes pretty quickly apparent that modeling the relationships themselves often presents itself as the only reasonable solution.

I won’t even begin to get into that example, by the way, simply because this blog post is too long as it is. I might try it for a later blog post to explore the idea further, but I think the point is made at this point.

Summary

The object-oriented paradigm often finds itself wading in tens of thousands of types, so it seems counterintuitive to suggest that we need more of them to make programs more clear. I agree, many O-O programs are too type-heavy, but part of the problem there is that we’re spending too much time creating classes that we shouldn’t need to create (DTOs and the like) and not enough time thinking about the actual entities in the system.

I’ll be the first to admit, too, that not all systems will need to treat names the way that I’ve done—sometimes an age is just an integer, and we’re OK with that. Truthfully, though, it seems more often than not that we’re later adding the necessary code to ensure that ages can never be negative, have to fall within a certain range, and so on.

As a suggestion, then, I throw out this idea: Ensure that all of your domain classes never expose primitive types to the user of the system. In other words, Name never exposes an “int” for Age, but only an “Age” type. C# makes this easy via “using” declarations, like so:

using FirstName = System.String;
using LastName = System.String;

which can then, if you’re thorough and disciplined about using the FirstName and LastName types instead of “string”, evolve into fully-formed types later in their own right if they need to. C++ provides “typedef” for this purpose—unfortunately, Java lacks any such facility, making this a much harder prospect. (This is something I’d stick at the top of my TODO list were I nominated to take Brian Goetz’s place at the head of Java9 development.)

In essence, encapsulate the primitive types away so that when they don’t need to be primitives, or when they need to be more complex than just simple holders of data, they don’t have to be, and clients will never know the difference. That, folks, is what encapsulation is trying to be about.

In incarnations past, I have had debates, public and otherwise, with friends and colleagues who have asserted that HTML5 (by which we really mean HTML5/JavaScript/CSS3) will essentially become the platform of choice for all applications going forward—that essentially, this time, standards will win out, and companies that try to subvert the open nature of the web by creating their own implementations with their own extensions and proprietary features that aren’t part of the standards, lose.

Then, I read the Wired news post about Google’s departure from WebKit, and I’m a little surprised that the Internet (and by “the Internet”, I mean “the very people who get up in arms about standards and subverting them and blah blah blah”) hasn’t taken more issues with some of the things cited therein:

Google’s decision is in tune with its overall efforts to improve the infrastructure of the internet. When it comes to browser software and other web technologies that directly effect the how quickly and effectively your machine grabs and displays webpages, the company likes to use open source technologies. That way, it can feed their adoption outside the company — and ultimately improve the delivery of its many online services (including all important advertisements). But if it believes the rest of the web is moving too slowly, it has no problem starting up its own project.

Just to be clear, Google is happy to use open-source technologies, so it can feed adoption of those technologies, but if it’s something that Google thinks is being adopted too slowly—like, say, Google’s extensions to the various standards that aren’t being picked up by its competitors—then Google feels the need to kick off its own thing. Interesting.

… [T]he trouble with WebKit is that is used different “multi-process architecture” than its Chrome browser, which basically means it didn’t handle concurrent tasks in the same way. When Chrome was first released in 2008 WebKit didn’t have a multi-process architecture, so Google had to build its own. WebKit2, released in 2010, adds multi-process features, but is quite different from what Google had already built. Apple and Google don’t see eye to eye on the project, and it became too difficult and too time-consuming for the company juggle the two architectures. “Supporting multiple architectures over the years has led to increasing complexity for both [projects],” the post says. “This has slowed down the collective pace of innovation.”

So… Google tried to use some open-source software, but discovered that the project didn’t work the way they built the rest of their application to work. (I’m certain that’s the first time that has happened, ever.) When the custodians of the project did add the feature Google wanted, the feature was implemented in a manner that still wasn’t in lockstep with the way Google wanted things to work in their application. This meant that “innovation” is “slowed down”.

(As an aside, I find it fascinating that whenever a company adopts open-source, it’s to “foster interoperability and open standards”, but when they abandon open-source, it’s to “foster innovation and faster evolution”. And I’m sure it’s entirely accidental that most of the time, adopting “open standards” is usually when the company is way behind on the technology curve for a given thing, and adopting “faster innovation” is usually when that same company thinks they’ve caught up the distance or surged ahead of their competitors in that space.)

Of course, a new implementation has its risks of bugs and incompatibilities, but Google has a plan for that:

“Throughout this transition, we’ll collaborate closely with other browser vendors to move the web forward and preserve the compatibility that made it a successful ecosystem,” the announcement reads.

Ah, there. See? By collaborating closely with their competitors, they will preserve compatibility. Because when Microsoft did that, everybody was totally OK with that…. uh, and… yeah… it worked pretty well, too, and….

Look, it seems pretty reasonable to assume that even if the tags and the DOM and the APIs are all 100% unchanged from Chrome v.Past to v.Next, there’s still going to be places where they optimize differently than WebKit does, which means now that developers will need to learn (and implement) optimizations in their Web-based applications differently. And frankly, the assumption that Chrome’s Blink and WebKit will somehow be bug-for-bug compatible/identical with each other is a pretty steep bar to accept blindly, considering the history.

Once again, we see the cycle coming around: in the beginning, when a technology is fleshing out, companies yearn for standards in order to create adoption. After a certain tipping point of adoption, however, the major players start to seek ways to avoid becoming a commodity, and start introducing “extensions” and “innovations” that for some odd reason their competitors in the standards meetings don’t seem all that inclined to adopt. That’s when they start forking and shying away from staying true to the standard, and eventually, the standard becomes either a least-common-denominator… or a joke.

Anybody want to bet on which outcome emerges for HTML5?

(Before you reach for the “Comment” link to flame me all to Hell, yes, even an HTML 5 standard that is 80% consistent across all the browsers is still pretty damn useful—just as a SQL standard that is 80% consistent across all the databases is useful. But this is a far cry from the utopia of interconnectedness and interoperability that was promised to us by the HTMLophiles, and it simply demonstrates that the Circle of TechnoLife continues, unabated, as it has ever since PC manufacturers—and the rest of us watching them--discovered what happens to them when they become a commodity.)

This blog, talking about the "1/10" developer as a sort of factored replacement for the "x10" developer, caught my eye over Twitter. Frankly, I'm not sure what to say about it, but there's a part of me that says I need to say something.

I don't like the terminology "1/10 developer". As the commenters on the author's blog suggest, it implies a denigration of the individual in question. I don't think that was the author's intent, but intentions don't matter--results do. You're still suggesting that this guy is effectively worthless, even if your intent is to say that his programming skills aren't great.

Some programmers shouldn't be. It's hard to say it, but yes, there are going to be some programmers at either end of the bell curve. (Assuming that skill in programming is a bell curve, and some have suggested that it's not, which is its own fascinating discussion, but for another day.) That means that some of the people writing code with you or for you are not going to be from the end you'd hope them to be from. That doesn't necessarily mean they should all immediately retire and take up farming.

Be careful how you measure. The author assumed that because this programmer wasn't able to churn out code at the same rate that the author himself could, the programmer in question was therefore one of these "1/10" programmers. Hubris is a dangerous thing in a CTO, even a temporary one--assuming that you could write it in "like, 2 hours, tops" is a dangerous, dangerous path. Every programmer I've ever known has looked at a feature or a story, thought, "Oh, that should only take me, like, 2 hours, tops" and then discovered later, to his/her chagrin, that there's a lot more involved in that than first considered. It's very possible the author/CTO is a wunderkind programmer who could do everything he talked about in, like, 1 or 2 hours, tops. It's also very possible that this author/CTO misunderstood the problem (which he never once seems to consider).

The teacher isn't finished teaching until the student learns. From the sound of the blog post, it doesn't sound like the author/CTO was really putting that much of an effort into teaching the programmer, but just "leading him step by step" to the solution. Give a man a fish... teach a man to fish.... Not all wunderkind programmer/author/CTOs are great teachers.

Some students just don't learn very well. The sword of teaching swings both ways, though: sometimes, some teachers just can't reach some students. It sucks, but it's life.

This programmer was a PhD candidate? The programmer in question, by the way, was (according to the blog) studying for a PhD at the time. And couldn't grasp MVC? Something is off here. I believe it, on the surface of it, because I worked with a guy who had graduated university with a PhD, and couldn't understand C++ and MFC to save his life, and got fired (and I inherited his project, which was a mess, to be blunt), but he'd spent all his time in university studying artificial intelligence, and had written it all using straight C code because that's what the libraries and platform he was using for his research demanded. I don't think he was a "1/10" developer, I think he was woefully mis-placed. Would you like an offensive lineman and put him as a slot receiver? Would you take a catcher and put him at pitcher? Would you take a Marketing guy and put him on server support? We need to stop thinking that all programmers are skilled alike--this is probably creating more problems than we really realize. Sure, on the whole, it sounds great that "craftsmen" should be able to pick up any tool and be just as effective with that tool as they are with any other--just like a drywaller can pick up a wrench and be just as effective a plumber, and pick up a circuit breaker and be just as effective an electrician. Right?

In the end reckoning, I don't think the "1/10" vs "10x" designation really does a whole lot--I have a hard time caring where the decimal point goes in this particular home-spun tale of metrics. And I'll even give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume the programmer he had was, in fact, from the lower end of the bell curve, and just wasn't capable of putting together the necessary abstractions in his head to get from point "A" to point "B", figuratively and literally.

But to draw this conclusion from a data point of one person? Seems a little sketchy, to me.

Software development, once again, thy name is hubris.

Oh, boy. Diving into this whole Adria Richards/people-getting-fired thing is probably a mistake, but it’s reached levels at which I’m just too annoyed by everyone and everything in this to not say something. You have one of three choices: read the summary below and conclude I’m a misogynist without reading the rest; read the summary below and conclude I’m spot-on without reading the rest; or read the rest and draw your own conclusions after hearing the arguments.

TL;DR Adria Richards was right to be fired; the developer/s from PlayHaven shouldn’t have been fired; the developer/s from PlayHaven could very well be a pair of immature assholes; the rape and death threats against Adria Richards undermine the positions of those who support the developer/s formerly from PlayHaven; the content of the jokes don’t constitute sexism nor should conferences overreact this way; half the Internet will label me a misogynist for these views; and none of this ends well.

The Facts, as I understand them

Three people are sitting in a keynote at a software conference. A presenter makes a comment on stage that leads two people sitting in the audience to start making jokes with all the emotional maturity of Beavis and Butthead. (Said developers are claiming that any and all sexual innuendo was inferred by the third, but frankly, let’s assume worst case here and assume they were, in fact, making cheap tawdry sex jokes out of “dongle” and “forking”.) A third person, after listening to it for a while, turns around, smiles, snaps a photo of the two of them, and Tweets them out as assholes. Conference staff approach third person, ask her to identify the two perpetrators, escort the developers out of the conference based on nothing but her word and (so far as I can tell) zero supporting evidence. Firestorm erupts over the Internet, and now all three (?) are jobless.

(UPDATE: Roberto Guerra mentioned, in private email, that PyCon has published their version of the events, which does not mention the developers being asked to leave; Roberto also tells me that the above link, which states that, apparently got it wrong, and that the original source they used was mistaken. Apologies to PyCon if this is the case.)

My Interpretations

Note that with typical software developer hubris, I feel eminently qualified to comment on all of this. (Which is my way of saying, take all of this with a grain of salt—I have some experience with this, being on the “accused” end of sexual harassment, and what I’m saying stems from my enforced “sit through the class” time from a decade or more ago, but I’m no lawyer, and like everybody else, I’m at the mercy of the reports since I wasn’t there.)

Developers who make “dongle” jokes and “forking” jokes are not only being stupid, those jokes have already been made. So they’re stupid twice over. C’mon, guys. New material. Seriously.

Making jokes in public that others might find offensive is taking a risk. Do it on stage, you run the risk of earning the wrath of the crowd. (Of course, nobody on this blog would, say, drop “the f-bomb” something like 23 times on stage in a keynote, right?) Do it in a crowd, you run the risk of pissing somebody off around you and looking/acting like douche. Might be in your best interests to keep your voice down or just chuckle to yourself and have that conversation later.

Photos taken in public are considered public, if rude. If I walk out into the street and start filming you, I have perfect right to do so, according to US law: what happens in public is considered public domain. Paparazzi depend on this for their “right” to follow and photograph moviestars, atheletes, and other “public” figures. Adria was entirely within her rights to photograph those two and Tweet it. But if I snap a pic of a cute girl and Tweet it with “Wow, want to guess whether her code is hot too?”, it’s a douche move because I’m using her likeness without her permission. If I do that for profit, now I’m actually open to lawsuit. So photos in public are in still something of a grey area, legally. Basic rule of thumb: if you want to be safe, ask before you put a photo of somebody else, taken in public or not, someplace other than on your own private device.

Third parties who overhear conversations could arguably be violating privacy. There’s a fine line here, but eavesdropping is rude. Now, I don’t know how loud they were making the jokes—shouting it out across the room is a very different scenario than whispering it to your seatmate and co-worker—but frankly, it’s usually pretty easy to tell when a joke is meant for general distribution in a room like that, and when it’s not. If it’s not meant for you, how about you just not hear it and concentrate on something else? Chalk up the commentary as “idiots being idiots”, and if there’s no implied threat to anybody going on, leave it be.

If you’re offended, you have an obligation to tell the parties in question and give them a choice to make good. Imagine this scenario: a guy sits down next to a girl on a bus. His leg brushes up against hers. She immediately stands up and shouts out “THIS MAN IS MAKING UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCES AT ME!” at the top of her lungs. Who’s the societally maladjusted person here? If, instead, she says, “Oh, please don’t make physical contact with me”, and he says, “But that’s my right as a human male”, and refuses to move his leg from pressing up against hers, then who’s the societally maladjusted one? Slice this one as finely as you like, but if you’re offended at something I do, it’s your responsibility to tell me so that I can make it right, by apologizing and/or ceasing the behavior in question, or telling you that I have Tourette’s, or by telling you you’re an uptight party-pooper, or however else this story can play out. If the party in question continues the behavior, then you’ve got grounds—moral and legal—to go to the authorities.

Just because you call it harassment doesn’t make it such. Legally, from what I remember, harassment is defined as “repeated acts of unwanted sexual attention”; in this case, I don’t see a history of repetition, nor do I see there being actual “attention” to Adria in this case—this was a conversation being held between two individuals that didn’t include her.

Just because it involves sex doesn’t make it sexist. Two guys were making jokes about male genitalia. It may have been inappropriate, but honestly, unless somebody widened the definition of sexism (“making disparaging comments about someone based on their gender or sexual preferences”) when I wasn’t looking, this ain’t it. And for Adria to claim sexism in public is bad when she Tweeted just a few days prior about stuffing a sock down your shorts during a TSA patdown seems a little…. *shrug* You pick the world.

The conference needs to follow basic due process. You know—innocent until proven guilty, measured and proportional response, warnings, and so on. I don’t care what it says on the conference’s website by way of disclaimer—you have to figure out if what was said to happen actually happened before you respond to it. Nowhere in the facts above do I hear the conference taking any steps to protect the accused—a woman said a couple of guys said sexual things, so we must act quickly! This has “bad” written all over it for the next five conferences.

(UPDATE: Again, PyCon apparently didn’t escort the developer/s out of the conference, but instead according to their site, “Both parties were met with, in private. The comments that were made were in poor taste, and individuals involved agreed, apologized and no further actions were taken by the staff of PyCon 2013. No individuals were removed from the conference, no sanctions were levied.” It sounds like, contrary to what I first heard, PyCon handled it in a classy manner, so I apologize for perpetrating the image that they didn’t. Having said that, though, I find it curious that this storm blew up this way—did no one think to push those apologies to Twitter so everyone else knew that things had blown over, or did they in fact do that and we’re all too busy gawking and screaming “fight! fight! fight” on the playground to notice?)

The material shouldn’t matter. I know we’re all being all sexually politically correct these days about women in IT, but this is a Pandora’s Box of a precedent that will eventually get way out of hand, if it isn’t already (and I think it is). Imagine how this story goes for the conference if a man Tweets out a picture of a woman and says, “This woman was talking to another woman and insulted my religion, and the conversation made me uncomfortable.” Is the conference now on the hook to escort those two women out of the building? How about programming language choice? How about race? How about sports teams? Where do we draw this line?

Adria was right to be fired. It’s harsh, but as any celebrity endorsement negotiator will tell you, when you represent a brand, you represent the brand even when the cameras aren’t rolling. (Just ask Tiger Woods about this.) Her actions brought a ton of unwanted negative attention (and a DDOS attack, apparently) to the company; that’s in direct contrast to the reasons they were paying her, and seeing as how her actions were something she did (as opposed to had done to her), her termination is entirely justified. You might see it as a bit harsh, but the company is well within boundaries here.

The PlayHaven developers weren’t right to be fired. Again, nowhere do we see them getting the opportunity to confront their accuser, or make restitution (apology). Now, you can argue that they, too, were representing their firm, but unless their job is to act as an evangelist and brand recognition activities are part of their job description, you can’t terminate them for gross negligence in this. Of course, most employment is “at-will”, meaning a company can fire you for any reason it likes, but this is sort of akin to getting fired for getting drunk and making lewd comments to the wait staff at Denny’s while wearing a company T-shirt.

Sexism in IT is bad. Duh. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who said otherwise. But this wasn’t sexism. Inappropriate, perhaps, but not sexism. By the way, racism in IT is bad, and so is age-ism, role-ism (discounting somebody’s opinions just because they’re in Marketing or Sales), and technacism (discounting a technology based on no factual knowledge).

It’s politically correct to jump to attention when “women in IT” come up. This subject is gathering a lot of momentum, and most of it I think is of the bad variety. Hate speech should not be tolerated—the rape and death threats against Adria cannot, should not, and are not acceptable in any way shape or form. Nor should similar kinds of direct comments against gays, lesbians, transsexuals, blacks, Asians, Jews, or any of the other “other” groups out there. But there is a far cry between this and the discrimination and hate speech that people go through: I have a friend who is lesbian and a school teacher, and she is receiving death threats for teaching at that school. She has dogs at the house, shotgun loaded, and she is waiting for the Mormons and news reporters to vacate her lawn so she can try to resume some kind of normal life. Putting up with a few lewd jokes in a crowd at a conference, I would guess, sounds pretty heavenly to her right now.

I think we have time for a patronizing plea, by the way: Ladies, I know you’ve had something of a rough time in the IT industry, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s getting better, and frankly, you run a big risk of ostracizing yourself and making it harder if every time a woman doesn’t get selected for something (a conference speaking slot, a tech lead role, or a particular job) the whole “women in IT” banner gets unfurled and raised. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t think there’s many of you that are doing that. There are some, though, who do claim special privilege just for being female, and there’s enough of a correlation between these two things that I think before too long it’s going to lose its impact and the real good that could be done will be lost. Don’t demand that you get special privilege—earn it. Believe me, there’s plenty of opportunities for you to do so, so if you get blocked on something, look for a way around it. Demand equality, not artificially-imposed advantage.

(As trends go, quite honestly, given the declining rates of men graduating college and actually making a life for themselves, before too long the shoe will be on the other foot anyway, just give it time.)

There is no happy ending here. Nobody can fix this; three lives have been forever affected, negatively, by all of this. The ones I feel truly sorry for? SendGrid and PlayHaven—they had nothing to do with it, and now their names are going to be associated with this whole crappy mess.

Call me a misogynist for not whole-heartedly backing the woman in this case, if you will, but frankly, it was a disaster from the moment she chose to snap the photo and Tweet to the world instead of saying, “Excuse me, can you not make those jokes here? I don’t think they’re particularly appropriate.” I could theorize why she chose the one route over the other, but that’s an essay for another day.

Let the flaming begin.

UPDATE: This post puts more context around Adria, and I think is the best-written commentary I've seen on this so far, particularly since it's a woman's point of view on the whole thing (assuming, of course, that "Amanda" is in this case applied to a human of the female persuasion).

As is pretty typical for that site, Lambda the Ultimate has a great discussion on some insights that the creators of Mozart and Oz have come to, regarding the design of programming languages; I repeat the post here for convenience:

Now that we are close to releasing Mozart 2 (a complete redesign of the Mozart system), I have been thinking about how best to summarize the lessons we learned about programming paradigms in CTM. Here are five "laws" that summarize these lessons:

1. A well-designed program uses the right concepts, and the paradigm follows from the concepts that are used. [Paradigms are epiphenomena]
2. A paradigm with more concepts than another is not better or worse, just different. [Paradigm paradox]
3. Each problem has a best paradigm in which to program it; a paradigm with less concepts makes the program more complicated and a paradigm with more concepts makes reasoning more complicated. [Best paradigm principle]
4. If a program is complicated for reasons unrelated to the problem being solved, then a new concept should be added to the paradigm. [Creative extension principle]
5. A program's interface should depend only on its externally visible functionality, not on the paradigm used to implement it. [Model independence principle]

Here a "paradigm" is defined as a formal system that defines how computations are done and that leads to a set of techniques for programming and reasoning about programs. Some commonly used paradigms are called functional programming, object-oriented programming, and logic programming. The term "best paradigm" can have different meanings depending on the ultimate goal of the programming project; it usually refers to a paradigm that maximizes some combination of good properties such as clarity, provability, maintainability, efficiency, and extensibility. I am curious to see what the LtU community thinks of these laws and their formulation.

Every once in a while, there is a moment in your life when inspiration just BAM! strikes out of nowhere, telling you what your next blog post is.

Then, there’s this one.

This blog post wasn’t inspired by any sort of bolt from the blue, or even a conversation with a buddy that led me to think, “Yeah, this is something that I should share with the world”. No, this one comes directly to you, from you. You see, I was cruising through my blog logs, and in particular looking at the Google Search queries that led to the blog site, and yesterday apparently two different Google Searches, both titled “Ted Neward on Java 8 adoption”, came in twice each.

I take that as a sign that y’all are kinda curious what my thoughts on Java 8 adoption are. Consider the message received: from your fingers to my eyes, as the old saying (slightly rephrased) goes.

Java 8: Overview

For those of you who’ve been too busy to track what’s going on with the Java language recently, the upcoming release of the JDK, the JavaSE 8 release, marks a fairly significant moment in Java’s history, one that ranks right up there with Java 5, in that the language is going to get a significant “bump” in functionality. Historically, Sun tried very hard to avoid such changes: Java 1.1 introduced inner classes, Java 1.4 introduced “assert”, and beyond that the language was the same language we’d been using since 1996 or so. The JVM saw some huge growth, by leaps and bounds, and the Java libraries grew exponentially, it seemed, but the language itself remained pretty static until Java 5. With Java 5 we got generics, enumerations, annotations, enhanced for loops, variable argument declarations, and a few other things besides; with Java 7 (the last release) we got a couple of trivial changes that really didn’t ruffle anybody’s hair, much less blow anybody’s socks off.

Java 8 represents another Java 5-like “sea change” kind of release. Not because there’s a ton of new features, like Java 5 had, but because the introduction of lambdas—anonymous function literals—will change a lot of the ways we can express concepts in Java, and that’s going to ripple throughout the language and the ecosystem. (Well, over time, it will—it’s hard to say exactly how much things will change in the days and months immediately following 8’s release.)

I won’t go into the details of Java 8’s new syntax—that’s not only still being finalized, but it’s also been pretty well-documented and discussed elsewhere (including a forthcoming Java Magazine issue from Oracle TechNet on the subject that’s been written by yours truly), and I only have a few minutes to write this in between flights home from a conference, to boot. For those who are familiar with lambdas, suffice to say that Java lambdas will look astonishingly like Scala or C# lambdas, partly because there’s really only a few ways you can make lambdas look in a C-style language, and partly because the folks writing the new features want the syntax to look familiar to programmers, and borrowing somebody else’s syntax (or at least big chunks of it) is a good way to do that.

Java 8: Adoption

When we talk about “adoption” of a given Java release, there’s a couple of different concepts we should tease out and examine individually: those customers who will deploy their non-Java8-written code on top of the Java8 JVM; those customers who will start using libraries written using Java8 features; and those customers who will start writing their own designs and implementations in the Java8 syntax and style.

Customers deploying Java8 for the JVM. Frankly, I expect this to happen relatively quickly, in line with the Java releases before this one. The JVM gets better and better with each release, and there’s no reason to assume that this release will be any different, and once Oracle and the JVM itself have demonstrated that there’s little to no risk to dropping the new JVM into the production data center and firing up your current version of JBoss or Tomcat or whatever on top of it, customers will begin to take a hard look at the risks involved in doing so (if any) and make that transition. It’s really a high-win-low-cost thing to do, again, once the Java8 JVM has some actual production miles under its belt, so to speak. (This isn’t a new rewrite of the JVM, by the way—customers just don’t want to be the first one to discover stupid bugs. My Dad once summarized this attitude this way: “Pilots never want to the fly the ‘A’ model of any aircraft.”) I give it about a year, maybe as early as six months, after the Java8 release before customers start putting Java8 into production.

Customers using libraries written using Java8 features. And let’s be clear, by “Java8 features” we’re talking about lambdas and virtual extension methods (a.k.a. “defender methods” from earlier draft specs), and by “libraries”, we’re talking about major open-source favorites like Spring, Hibernate, Commons Collections and so on. Essentially, the reason this is important as a category centers around the idea that Java developers, like a lot of developers, aren’t going to adopt the language features of the new Java until they see them in action—passing lambdas in to Spring for executing inside a database transaction, for example, or passing a lambda in to a collection for execution across a collection. The timeline here will be somewhat dependent on the library, and on the commitment of the developers around those libraries, but I’m a little less optimistic here—many of the open-source committers have historically been the loudest to cry foul over some of the changes Sun made to the language, and I’m not convinced yet that they have come around to embrace Oracle’s intentions regarding the language’s evolution. (In many ways, the image that strikes me is that of a large number of grumpy old men sitting around the office, gruffly tossing off one-liners like “Didn’t work like that in MY day” and “Don’t these kids realize that sometimes the old ways are the best ways?”.) I’m guessing that this transition will take longer, like two years at the minimum, and some libraries will never actually make the transition at all, choosing instead to remain “pre-Java8 compatible”, in the same way that some libraries chose to remain “pre-Java5 compatible” (and, IMHO, essentially put themselves out to pasture as a result).

Customers writing their own designs and implementations in Java8. And really, what I mean here is “how long before they start creating classes that utilize lambdas in the domain object design”? Interestingly enough, I think this is tangentially related to how quickly the open-source community adopts Java8 (the previous point), because then customers will begin to see some design patterns and idioms that they can copy/follow/embrace/extend, but even if the open-source community roundly rejects Java8, I still see customers starting to design and build code using lambdas by 2015 or ‘16. Some will jump on it early, or be able to transition their existing anonymous-inner-class-based (that is, “poor man’s lambda”) code over to lambdas within months of Java8’s release, but it will take longer to percolate through the rest of the industry—there are more than a few companies out there still running Java6, for example, and those folks aren’t going to accelerate their use of Java8 just to get lambdas.

Java 8: Perception

Having said all that, though, I think the overall perception of Java8’s adoption will be entirely dependent on how well Oracle addresses some of the recent “security flaws” that have been coming out of Java in the press. Even though the security flaws all seem to be applet- or client-side Java related, the perception that Java is somehow insecure likely has Microsoft chuckling internally—it certainly has Microsoft’s community (of which I and a number of my friends are a part) giggling and roaring and engaging in a few “Neener-neener-neener” moments; after all the crap that Java guys gave the Microsoft community back in the days of Bill Gates’ famous Security Memo, I can’t say that it’s unwarranted.

Aside from that, though, I think there’s no real reason not to expect adoption of Java8 to follow the same broad strokes path that previous Java releases have enjoyed, and thus within three years I fully expect that widescale adoption will be well under way.

TL;DR: I'm "unemployed", I'm looking to land a position as a director of development or similar kind of development management role; I'm ridiculously busy in the meantime.

My employer, after having suffered the loss of close to a quarter of its consultant workforce on a single project when that project chose to "re-examine its current approach", has decided that (not surprisingly) given the blow to its current cash flow, it's a little expensive keeping an architectural consultant of my caliber on staff, particularly since it seems to me they don't appear to have the projects lined up for all these people to go. Today was my last day, the paperwork and final check are processing through the system, there were no tears nor angry accusations from either side, and tomorrow I get to wake up "unemployed".

It's a funny word, that word "unemployed", because it indicates both a state of emotion and existence that I don't really share. On the emotional front, I'm not upset. A number of people expressed condolences ("I'm so sorry, Ted"), but frankly, I'm not angry, upset, hurt, or any of those other emotions that so often come with that. Part of my reaction stems from the fact that I've been expecting this for a while--the company and I had lots of plans in the beginning of my tenure there, but those plans more or less never got past the planning stage, and the focus was clearly always on billability, which at the level I'm at usually implies travel, something I'm not willing to commit to at the 80%/100% level that consulting clients often demand. We just grew apart, the company and I, and I think we've both known it for a few months now; this is just putting the signatures on the divorce and splitting up the CD collection. On the "existence" front, unemployment often means "waking up with nothing to do" and "no more money coming in", which, honestly, doesn't really apply, either. While I'm not going to be drawing a salary on a twice-monthly basis like I was for the last twenty months, it's not like I have no income coming in or nothing to do: I've got my columns with MSDN, CoDe, and Oracle TechNet, I've got two conferences this month (33rd Degree in Warsaw, and VSLive! in Vegas) I've got a contract in place for doing some content work and research for JetBrains on MPS, their language workbench, and I've just commissioned a course with PluralSight, "JVM Fundamentals", which will essentially be an amalgamation of the conference talks I did at NFJS over the past five or six years (ClassLoaders, threading and concurrency, collections, and so on), with a few more PluralSight courses and JetBrains articles/vidcasts/etc sketched out after that. If I'm "unemployed", then it's the busiest damn unemployment I've ever heard of.

And in all honesty, this enforced change on my career is not unwelcome--I've been thinking now for the past few months that it's time for me to challenge myself again, and the chosen challenge I've laid out for myself is to run a team, not an architecture. I want to find a position where I can take a team, throw us at a project, and produce something awesome... or at least acceptable... to the customer. After so many years of making fun of managers at conferences and such, I find myself wanting to become one. I'm not naive, I know this isn't all rainbows and unicorns, and that there will be times I just want to go back to the editor and write code because at least code is deterministic (most of the time), but it's an entirely new set of challenges, and frankly, I've been bored the last few years, I just have to admit that out loud. And I may not like it and in a year or two say to myself, "What was I THINKING?!?", but at least I'll have given it a shot, gotten the experience, and learned a few new things. And it's not like I'm going to give up technology completely, because I'm still going to be writing, blogging, recording, speaking, and researching. I don't think I could give that up if I tried.

So if you know of a company in the Greater Seattle area that's looking for someone who's got a ton of technical skills and an intuitive sense of people to run a development team, drop me a note. Oh, and don't be too surprised if the website gets a face lift in the next month or two--the design is a little old, and I want to play around with Bootstrap and some static-HTML-plus-Javascript kinds of design/development. Should be fun, in all my copious spare time...

According to this report, Apple is now not only spam-filtering out emails containing particular phraseology (in this case, "barely legal teens"), but deleting them entirely, whether they're being sent to your account, or from your account. And what's even more interesting, apparently iCloud users agreed to give Apple that kind of power.

The precedent here is dangerous, and one that needs to be carefully examined--if corporations are going to exercise the ability to investigate/examine (even from an automated tool) the email that you're sending or receiving, then technically privacy is being violated. This has always been an issue with email--corporations have always maintained that email sent on their servers to their employees is their property, and the legal world has held that up to be the case (which is the same rationale that then gives DOJ and other prosecutors the right to examine corporate email in order to see if there's been any wrongdoing taking place, so this is a good thing). But when you're not an employee of the corporation, does the fact that the email travels through their servers mean that they have the right to view your email, even through an algorithm? Does an ISP have the right to read its subscribers' email, too? The fact that iCloud users agree to allow Apple this power is an interesting twist, but frankly the courts have seen fit to throw out waivers that were deemed unenforceable or illegal, so that's something of a red herring, I think.

The much deeper issue here is one of privacy: how much privacy is really left to us these days? And, speaking for myself, why don't more people care?

This also has me wondering if, maybe, email and Internet services haven't reached a level of ubiquity that suggests that they should be considered part of the national or state infrastructure--as in, should local/city/state/federal government maintain an email infrastructure (servers) with the same degree of privacy guarantees that they held up for the US Postal Service? Or, maybe even, should the US Postal Service be that entity?

There are times when the industry in which I find myself does things that I just don't understand.

Consider, for a moment, this blog by Jeff Handley, in which he essentially says that the phrase "We accept pull requests" is "cringe-inducing":

Why do the words “we accept pull requests” have such a stigma? Why were they cringe-inducing when I spoke them? Because too many OSS projects use these words as an easy way to shut people up. We (the collective of OSS project owners) can too easily jump to this phrase when we don’t want to do something ourselves. If we don’t see the value in a feature, but the requester persists, we can simply utter, “We accept pull requests,” and drop it until the end of days or when a pull request is submitted, whichever comes first. The phrase now basically means, “Buzz off!”

At Microsoft, having open source projects that actually accept pull requests is a fairly new concept. I work on NuGet, which is an Outercurve project that accepts contributions from Microsoft and many others. I was the dev lead for Razor and Web Pages at the time it went open source through Microsoft Open Tech. I collaborate with teams that work on EntityFramework, SignalR, MVC, and several other open source projects. I spend virtually all my time thinking about projects that are open source. Just a few years ago, this was unimaginable at Microsoft. Sometimes I feel like it still hasn’t sunk in how awesome it is that we have gotten to where we are, and I think I’ve been trigger happy and I’ve said “We accept pull requests” too often I typically use the phrase in jest, but I admit that I have said it when I was really thinking “Buzz off!”

The weekend after the MVP summit, I was still regretting having said what I said. I wished all week I could take the words back. And then I saw someone else fall victim. On a highly controversial NuGet issue, the infamous Phil Haack used a similar phrase as part of a response stating that the core team probably wouldn’t be taking action on the proposed changes, but that there was nothing stopping those affected from issuing a pull request. With my mistake still fresh in my mind, I read Phil’s words just as I’m sure everyone in the room at the MVP summit heard my own. It sounded flippant and it had the opposite effect from what Phil intended or what I would want people thinking of the NuGet core team. From there, the thread started turning nasty. We were stuck arguing opinions and we were no longer discussing the actual issue and how it could be solved.

With that many mentions on the tweets, we ran out of characters and eventually moved into JabbR. By the end of the conversation, we all agreed that the words “we accept pull requests” should never be used again. Phil proposed a great phrase to use instead: “Want to take a crack at it? We’ll help.”

What I don't like about the new phrase is twofold. First, if people use the phrase casually enough, eventually it too will be overused and interpreted to mean "Buzz off!", just as "Thank you for your feedback" became. But secondly, where in the world did it somehow become a law that open source projects MUST implement every feature that their users suggest? This is part of the strange economics of open source--in a commercial product, if the developers stray too far away from what customers need or want, declining sales will serve as a corrective force to bring them back around (or, if they don't, bankruptcy of either the product or the company will eventually follow). But in an open-source project, there's no real visible marker to serve as that accountability and feedback--and so the project owners, those who want to try and stay in tune with their users anyway, feel a deeper responsibility to respond to user requests. And on its own, that's a good thing.

The part that bothers me, though, is that this new phraseology essentially implies that any open-source project has a responsibility to implement the features that its users ask for, and frankly, that's not sustainable. Open-source projects are, for the most part, maintained by volunteers, but even those that are backed by commercial firms (like Microsoft or GitHub) have finite resources--they simply cannot commit resources, even just "help", to every feature request that any user makes of them. This is why the "We accept pull requests" was always, to my mind, an acceptable response: loosely translated, to me at least, it meant, "Look, that's an interesting idea, but it either isn't on our immediate roadmap, or it takes the project in a different direction than we'd intended, or we're not even entirely sure that it's feasible or doable or easily managed or what-have-you. Why don't you take a stab at implementing it in your own fork of the code, and if you can get it to some point of implementation that you can show us, send us a copy of the code in the form of a pull request so we can take a look and see if it fits with how we see the project going." This is not an unreasonable response: if you care passionately about this feature, either because you think it should be there or because your company needs that feature to get its work done, then you have the time, energy and motivation to at least take a first pass at it and prove the concept (or, sometimes, prove to yourself that it's not such an easy request as you thought). Cultivating a sense of entitlement in your users is not a good practice--it's a step towards a completely unsustainable model that could, if not curbed, eventually lead to the death of the project as the maintainers essentially give up when faced with feature request after feature request.

I applaud the efforts on the part of project maintainers, particularly those at large commercial corporations involved in open source, to avoid "Buzz off" phrases. But it's not OK for project maintainers to feel like they are under a responsibility to implement any particular feature or idea suggested by a user. Some ideas are going to be good ones, some are going to be just "off the radar" of the project's core committers, and some are going to be just plain bad. You think your idea is one of those? Take a stab at it. Write the code. And if you've got it to a point where it seems to be working, then submit a pull request.

But please, let's not blow this out of proportion. Users need to cut the people who give them software for free some slack.

(EDIT: I accidentally referred to Jeff as "Anthony" in one place and "Andrew" in another. Not really sure how or why, but... Edited.)

Charlie Kindel blogs that he thinks James Gosling (and the rest of Sun) screwed us all with Java and it's "Write Once, Run Anywhere" mantra. It's catchy, but it's wrong.

Like a lot of Charlie's blogs, he nails parts of this one squarely on the head:

WORA was, is, and always will be, a fallacy. ... It is the “Write once…“ part that’s the most dangerous. We all wish the world was rainbows and unicorns, and “Write once…” implies that there is a world where you can actually write an app once and it will run on all devices. But this is precisely the fantasy that the platform vendors will never allow to become reality. ...

HTML5 is awesome in many ways. If applied judiciously, it can be a great technology and tool. As a tool, it can absolutely be used to reduce the amount of platform specific code you have to write. But it is not a starting place. Starting with HTML5 is the most customer unfriendly thing a developer can do. ... Like many ‘solutions’ in our industry the “Hey, write it once in in HTML5 and it will run anywhere” story didn’t actually start with the end-user customer. It started with idealistic thoughts about technology. It was then turned into snake oil for developers. Not only is the “build a mobile app that hosts a web view that contains HTML5″ approach bass-ackwards, it is a recipe for execution disaster. Yes, there are examples of teams that have built great apps using this technique, but if you actually look at what they did, they focused on their experience first and then made the technology work. What happens when the shop starts with “we gotta use HTML5 running in a UIWebView” is initial euphoria over productivity, followed by incredible pain doing the final 20%.

In fact, about the only part of Charlie's blog post that I disagree with is the part where he blames Gosling and Java:

I blame James Gosling. He foisted Java on us and as a result Sun coined the term Write Once Run Anywhere. ... Developers really want to believe it is possible to “Write once…”. They also really want to believe that more threads will help. But we all know they just make the problems worse. Just as we’ve all grown to accept that starting with “make it multi-threaded” is evil, we need to accept “Write once…” is evil.

And that, folks, is the heart of the matter: long before Gosling took his fledgling failed set-top box Oak-named project and looked around for a space to which to apply it next, developers... no, let's get that right, "developers and their managers who hate the idea of violating DRY by having the code in umpteen different codebases" have been looking for ways to have a single source base that runs across all the platforms. We've tried it with portable languages (see C, C++, Java, for starters), portable libraries (in the C++ space see Zinc, zApp, XVT, Tools.h++), portable containers (see EJB, the web browser), and now portable platforms (see PhoneGap/Cordova, Titanium, etc), portable cross-compilers (see MonoTouch/MonoDroid, for recent examples), and I'm sure there will be other efforts along these lines for years and decades to come. It's a noble goal, but the major players in the space to which we are targeting--whether that be operating systems, browsers, mobile platforms, console game devices, or whatever comes next two decades from now--will not allow their systems to be commoditized that easily. Because at the heart of it, that's exactly what these "cross-platform" tools and languages and libraries are trying to do: reduce the underlying "thing" to a commodity that lacks interest or impact.

Interestingly enough, as a side-note, one thing I'm starting to notice is that the more pervasive mobile devices become and the more mobile applications we see reaching those devices, the less and less "device-standard" those interfaces are trying to look even as they try to achieve cross-platform similarities. Consider, for a moment, the Fly Delta app on iPhone: it doesn't really use any of the standard iOS UI metaphors (except for some of the basic ones), largely because they've defined their own look-and-feel across all the platforms they support (iOS and Android, at least so far). Ditto for the CNN and USA Today apps, as well as the ESPN app, and of course just about every game ever written for any of those platforms. So even as Charlie argues:

The problem is each major platform has its own UI model, its own model for how a web view is hosted, its own HTML rendering engine, and its own JavaScript engine. These inter-platform differences mean that not only is the platform-specific code unique, but the interactions between that code and the code running within the web view becomes device specific. And to make matters worse intra-platform fragmentation, particularly on the platform with the largest number of users, Android, is so bad that this “Write Once..” approach provides no help.

While cruising through the Internet a few minute ago, I wandered across Meteor, which looks like a really cool tool/system/platform/whatever for building modern web applications. JavaScript on the front, JavaScript on the back, Mongo backing, it's definitely something worth looking into, IMHO.

Thus emboldened, I decide to look at how to start playing with it, and lo and behold I discover that the instructions for installation are:

curl https://install.meteor.com | sh

Now, I'm sure the Meteor folks are all nice people, and they're making sure (via the use of the https URL) that whatever is piped into my shell is, in fact, coming from their servers, but I don't know these people from Adam or Eve, and that's taking an awfully big risk on my part, just letting them pipe whatever-the-hell-they-want into a shell Terminal. Hell, you don't even need root access to fill my hard drive with whatever random bits of goo you wanted.

I looked at the shell script, and it's all OK, mind you--the Meteor people definitely look trustworthy, I want to reassure anyone of that. But I'm really, really hoping that this is NOT their preferred mechanism for delivery... nor is it anyone's preferred mechanism for delivery... because that's got a gaping security hole in it about twelve miles wide. It's just begging for some random evil hacker to post a website saying, "Hey, all, I've got his really cool framework y'all should try..." and bury the malware inside the code somewhere.

Which leads to today's Random Thought Experiment of the Day: How long would it take the open source community to discover malware buried inside of an open-source package, particularly one that's in widespread use, a la Apache or Tomcat or JBoss? (Assume all the core committers were in on it--how many people, aside from the core committers, actually look at the source of the packages we download and install, sometimes under root permissions?)

Not saying we should abandon open source; just saying we should be responsible citizens about who we let in our front door.

UPDATE: Having done the install, I realize that it's a two-step download... the shell script just figures out which OS you're on, which tool (curl or wget) to use, and asks you for root access to download and install the actual distribution. Which, honestly, I didn't look at. So, here's hoping the Meteor folks are as good as I'm assuming them to be....

Still highlights that this is a huge security risk.

TL;DR Live craftsmanship, don't preach it. The creation of a label serves no purpose other than to disambiguate and distinguish. If we want to hold people accountable to some sort of "professionalism", then we have to define what that means. I found Uncle Bob's treatment of my blog heavy-handed and arrogant. I don't particularly want to debate this anymore; this is my last take on the subject.

I will freely admit, I didn't want to do this. I really didn't. I had hoped that after my second posting on the subject, the discussion would kind of fade away, because I think we'd (or I'd, at least) wrought about the last few drops of discussion and insight and position on it. The same memes were coming back around, the same reactions, and I really didn't want to perpetuate the whole thing ad infinitum because I don't really think that's the best way to reach any kind of result or positive steps forward. I'd said my piece, I was happy about it.

Alas, such was not to be. Uncle Bob posted his thoughts, and quite frankly, I think he did a pretty bad job of hearing what I had to say, couching it in terms of populism (I stopped counting the number of times he used that word at six or so) even as he framed in it something of his own elitist argument.

Bob first points us all at the Manifesto for Software Craftsmanship. Because everyone who calls themselves a craftsman has to obey this manifesto. It's in the rules somewhere. Sort of like the Agile Manifesto--if you're not a signatory, you're doing it wrong.

(Oh, I know, to suggest that there is even the smallest thing wrong with the Agile Manifesto borders on heresy. Which, if that's the reaction you have, should be setting off a few warning bells in your head--something about replacing dogma with dogma.)

And you know what? I actually agree with most of the principles of the Craftsmanship Manifesto. It's couched in really positive, uplifting language: who doesn't want "well-crafted" software, or "steadily-increasing value", or "productive partnerships"? It's a wonderfully-worded document that unfortunately is way short on details, but hey, it should be intuitively obvious to anyone who is a craftsman, right?

See, this is part of my problem. Manifestos tend to be long on rhetoric, but very, very short on details. The Agile Manifesto is another example. It stresses "collaboration" and "working software" and "interactions" and "responding to change", but then people started trying to figure out how to apply this, and we got into the knife-fights that people arguing XP vs. Scrum vs. Kanban vs. your-homebrewed-craptaculous-brand-of-"little-a"-agile turned into brushfire wars. It's wonderful to say what the end result should be, but putting that into practice is a whole different ball of wax. So I'm a little skeptical any time somebody points to a Manifesto and says, "I believe in that, and that should suffice for you".

Frankly, if we want this to have any weight whatsoever, I think we should model something off the Hippcratic Oath, instead--it at least has prescriptive advice within it, telling doctors what they can and cannot (or, perhaps worded more accurately, should or should not) do. (I took something of a stab at this six years ago. It could probably use some work and some communal input; it was a first iteration.)

Besides (beware the accusation coming of my attempt at a false-association argument here, this is just for snarkiness purposes!), other manifestos haven't always worked out so well.

So by "proving [that I misinterpreted the event] by going to the Manifesto", you're kind of creating a circular argument: "What happened can't have been because of Software Craftsmanship, because look, there, in the Manifesto, it says we don't do that, so clearly, we can't have done that. It says it, right there! Seriously!"

The Supposed "Segregation"

Bob then says I'm clearly mistaken about "craftsmen" creating a segregation, because there's nothing about segregation in the manifesto:

any intimation of those who "get it" vs. those who don't; or any mention of the "right" tools or the "right" way. Indeed, what I see instead is a desire to steadily add value by writing well-crafted software while working in a community of professionals who behave as partners with their customers. That doesn't sound like "narcissistic, high-handed, high-minded" elitism to me.

Bob then goes on an interesting leap of logical assumption here. He takes my definition of a "software laborer":

"somebody who comes in at 9, does what they're told, leaves at 5, and never gives a rat's ass about programming except for what they need to know to get their job done [...] who [crank] out one crappy app after another in (what else?) Visual Basic, [that] were [...] sloppy, bloated, ugly [...] cut-and-paste cobbled-together duct-tape wonders."

Now let's look past the hyperbole, and the populist jargon, and see if we can identify just who Ted is talking about. Firstly, they work 9-5. Secondly, they get their job done. Thirdly, they crank out lots of (apparently useful) apps. And finally, they make a mess in the code. The implication is that they are not late, have no defects, and their projects never fail.

(See what I did there? I make Bob sound old and cantankerous. Not that he would do the same to himself, trying to use his years of experience as a subtle bludgeon to anyone who's younger and therefore less experienced--less professional, by implication--in his argument, right?

Programming is barely 60 years old. I, personally, have been programming for 43+ of those years.

Having sort of wrested my definition of the laborer away from me, Bob goes on:

I've never met these people. In my experience a mess in the code equates to lots of overtime, deep schedule overruns, intolerable defect rates, and frequent project failure -- not to mention eventual redesign.

Bob goes on to sort of run with this theme:

Ted has created a false dichotomy that appeals to a populist ideology. There are the elite, condescending, self-proclaimed craftsmen, and then there are the humble, honorable, laborers. Ted then declares his allegiance to the latter... .

Generally, populists tend to claim that they side with "the people" against "the elites". While for much of the twentieth century, populism was considered to be a political phenomenon mostly affecting Latin America, since the 1980s populist movements and parties have enjoyed degrees of success in First World democracies such as the USA, Canada, Italy, the Netherlands and Scandinavian countries.

So either I'm talking into a vacuum, or there's more of a divide than Bob thinks. You make the call on that one.

Shall we continue?

He strengthens his identity with, and affinity for, these laborers by telling a story about a tea master and a samurai (or was it some milk and a cow) which further extends and confuses the false dichotomy.

Oh, the Horror! ... of Ted's Psyche

Not content to analyze the argument, because clearly (he says this so many times, it must be true) my argument is so weak as to not stand on its own (even though I'm not sure, looking back at this point, that Bob has really attacked the argument itself at all, other than to say, "Look at the Manifesto!"), he decides to engage in a little personal attack:

I'm not a psychoanalyst; and I don't really want to dive deep into Ted's psyche to unravel the contradictions and false dichotomies in his blog. However, I will make one observation. In his blog Ted describes his own youthful arrogance as a C++ programmer... It seems to me that Ted is equating his own youthful bad behavior with "craftsmanship". He ascribes his own past arrogance and self-superiority with an entire movement. I find that very odd and very unfortunate. I'm not at all sure what prompted him to make such a large and disconnected leap in reasoning. While it is true that the Software Craftsmanship movement is trying to raise awareness about software quality; it is certainly not doing so by promoting the adolescent behavior that Ted now disavows.

Know what? I think one thing that got lost somewhere in all this debate is that value is only value if it's of value to the customer. And in a lot of the "craftsmanship" debates, I don't hear the customer's voice being brought up all that much.

You remember all those crappy VB apps that Bob maligned earlier? Was the customer happy? Did anybody stop to ask them? Or was the assumption that, since the code was crappy, the customer implicitly must be unhappy as well? Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of crappy code out there that doesn't make the customer happy. As a matter of fact, I'll argue that any code that doesn't make the customer happy is crap, regardless of what language it's written in or what patterns it uses or how decoupled or injected or new databases it stores data into. Value isn't value unless it's value to the person who's paying for the code.

Bob Discusses the Dichotomy

Eh, I'm getting tired of writing all this, and I'm sure you're getting tired of reading it, so let's finish up and call it a day. Bob goes on to start dissecting my false dichotomy, starting with:

Elitism is not encouraged in the Software Craftsmanship community. Indeed we reject the elitist attitude altogether. Our goal is not to make others feel bad about their code. Our goal is to teach programmers how to write better code, and behave better as professionals. We feel that the software industry urgently needs to raise the bar of professionalism.

But "raising the bar of professionalism", again, misses a crucial point, one that I've tried to raise earlier: Who defines what that "professionalism" looks like? Does the three-line Perl hack qualify as "professionalism" if it gets the job done for the customer so they can move on? Or does it need to be rewritten in Ruby, using convention over configuration, and a whole host of dynamic language/metaprogramming/internal DSL tricks? What defines professionalism in our world? In medicine, it's defined pretty simply: is the patient healthier or not after the care? In the legal profession, it's "did we represent the client to the best of our ability while remaining in compliance with the rules of ethics laid down by the bar and the laws of the entity in which we practice?" What defines "professionalism" in software? When you can tell me what that looks like, in concrete, without using words that allow for high degree of interpretation, then we can start to make progress towards whether or not my "laborers" are, in actuality, professionals.

We continue.

There are few "laborers" who fit the mold that Ted describes. While there are many 9-5 programmers, and many others who write cut-paste code, and still others who write big, ugly, bloated code, these aren't always the same people. I know lots of 12-12 programmers who work hellish hours, and write bloated, ugly, cut-paste code. I also know many 9-5 programmers who write clean and elegant code. I know 9-5ers who don't give a rat's ass, and I know 9-5ers who care deeply. I know 12-12ers who's only care is to climb the corporate ladder, and others who work long hours for the sheer joy of making something beautiful.

The Real Problem

Bob goes on to talk about the youth of our industry, but I think the problem is a different one. Yes, we're a young industry, but frankly, so is Marketing and Sales (they've only really existed in their modern forms for about sixty or seventy years, maybe a hundred if you stretch the definitions a little), and ditto for medicine (remember, it was only about 150 years ago that surgeons were also barbers). Yes, we have a LOT to learn yet, and we're making a lot of mistakes, I think, because our youth is causing us to reach out to other, highly imperfect metaphor/role-model industries for terminology and inspiration. (Cue the discussion of "software architecture" vs "building architecture" here.) Personally, I think we've learned a lot, we're continuing to learn more, and we're reaching a point where looking at other industries for metaphors is reaching a practical end in terms of utility to us.

The bigger problem? Economics. The supply and demand curve.

Neal Ford pointed out on an NFJS panel a few years back that the demand for software vastly exceeds the supply of programmers to build it. I don't know where he got that--whether he read that somewhere or that formed out of his own head--but he's absolutely spot-on right, and it seriously throws the whole industry out of whack.

If the software labor market were like painting, or car repair, or accounting, then the finite demand for people in those positions would mean that those who couldn't meet customer satisfaction would eventually starve and die. Or, more likely, take up some other career. It's a natural way to take the bottom 20% of the bell curve (the portion out to the far right) of potential practitioners, and keep them from ruining some customers' life. If you're a terrible painter, no customers will use you (at least, not twice), and while I suppose you could pick up and move to a new market every year or so until you're run out of town on a rail for crappy work, quite honestly, most people will just give up and go do something else. There are thousands--millions--of actors and actresses in Southern California that never make it to stage or screen, and they wait tables until they find a new thing to pursue that adds value to their customers' lives in such a way that they can make a living.

But software... right now, if you walk out into the middle of the street in San Francisco wearing a T-shirt that says, "I write Rails code", you will have job offers flying after you like the paper airplanes in Disney's just-released-to-the-Internet video short. IT departments are throwing huge amounts of cash into mechanisms, human or otherwise, working or otherwise, to help them find developers. Software engineering has been at the top of the list of "best jobs" for several years, commanding high salaries in a relatively stress-free environment, all in a period of time that many of equated to be the worst economic cycle since the Great Depression. Don't believe me? Take a shot yourself, go to a Startup Weekend and sign up as a developer: there are hundreds of people with new app ideas (granted, most of them total fantasy) who are just looking for a "technical co-founder" to help them see their dream to reality. IT departments will take anybody right now, and I do mean anybody. I'm reasonably convinced that half the reason software development outsourcing overseas happens is because it's a choice between putting up with doing the development overseas, even with all of the related problems and obstacles that come up, or not doing the development at all for lack of being able to staff the team to do it. (Which would you choose, if you were the CTO--some chance of success, or no chance at all?)

Wrapping up

Bob wraps up with this:

The result is that most programmers simply don't know where the quality bar is. They don't know what disciplines they should adopt. They don't know the difference between good and bad code. And, most importantly, they have not learned that writing good clean code in a disciplined manner is the fastest and best way get the job done well.

We, in the Software Craftsmanship movement are trying to teach those lessons. Our goal is to raise the awareness that software quality matters. That doing a good job means having pride in workmanship, being careful, deliberate, and disciplined. That the best way to miss a deadline, and lay the seeds of defeat, is to make a mess.

We, in the Software Craftsmanship movement are promoting software professionalism.

Seriously? You can't see how that comes across as elitist? And arrogant?

Look, I really don't mean to perpetuate this whole argument, and I'm reasonably sure that Uncle Bob is already firing up his blog editor to point out all the ways in which my "populist ideology" is falsly dichotomous or whatever. I'm tired of this argument, to be honest, so let me try to sum up my thoughts on this whole mess in what I hope will be a few, easy-to-digest bullet points:

1. Live craftsmanship, don't preach it. If you hold the craftsman meme as a way of trying to improve yourself, then you and I have no argument. If you put "software craftsman" on your business cards, or website, or write Manifestos that you try to use as a bludgeon in an argument, then it seems to me that you're trying to distinguish yourself from the rest, and that to me smacks of elitism. You may not think of yourself as covering yourself in elitism, but to a lot of the rest of the world, that's exactly how you're coming off. Sorry if that's not how you intended it.
2. Value is only value if the customer sees it as value. And the customer gets to define what is valuable to them, not you. You can (and should) certainly try to work with them to understand what they see as value, and you can (and should) certainly try to help them see how there may be value in ways they don't see today. But at the end of the day, they are the customer, they are paying the checks, and even after advising them against it, if they want to prioritize quick-and-dirty over longer-and-elegant, then (IMHO) that's what you do. Because they may have reasons for choosing that approach that they simply don't care to share with you, and it's their choice.
3. The creation of a label serves no purpose other than to disambiguate and distinguish. If there really is no blue-collar programming workforce, Bob, then I challenge you to drop the term "craftsman" from your bio, profile, and self-description anywhere it appears, and replace it with "programer". Or else refer to all software developers as "craftsmen" (in which case the term becomes meaningless, and thus useless). Because, let's face it, how many doctors do you know who put "Hippocratic-sworn" somewhere on their business cards?
4. If we want to hold people accountable to some sort of "professionalism", then we have to define what that means. The definition of the term "professional" is not really what we want, in practice, for it's usually defined as "somebody who got paid to do the job". The Craftsmanship Manifesto seems to want some kind of code of ethics or programmer equivalent to the Hippocratic Oath, so that the third precept isn't "a community of people who are paid to do what they do", but something deeper and more meaningful and concrete. (I don't have that definition handy, by the way, so don't look to me for it. But I will also roundly reject anyone who tries to use the Potter Stewart-esque "I can't define it but I know it when I see it" approach, because now we're back to individual interpretation.)
5. I found Uncle Bob's treatment of my blog heavy-handed and arrogant. In case that wasn't obvious. And I reacted in similar manner, something for which I will apologize now. By reacting in that way, I'm sure I perpetuate the blog war, and truthfully, I have a lot of respect for Bob's technical skills; I was an avid fan of his C++ articles for years, and there's a lot of good technical ideas and concepts that any programmer would be well-advised to learn. His technical skill is without question; his compassion and empathy, however, might be. (As are mine, for stooping to that same level.)

TL;DR: To all those who dissented, you're right, but you're wrong. Craftsmanship is a noble meme, when it's something that somebody holds as a personal goal, but it's often coming across as a way to beat up and denigrate on others who don't choose to invest significant time and energy into programming. The Zen Masters didn't walk around the countryside, proclaiming "I am a Zen Master!"

Wow. Apparently I touched a nerve.

It's been 48 hours since I posted On the Dark Side of 'Craftsmanship', and it's gotten a ton of interest, as well as a few syndicated re-posts (DZone and a few others). Comments to the blog included a response from Dave Thomas, other blog posts have been brought to my attention, and Twitter was on FIRE with people pinging me with their thoughts, which turn out to be across the spectrum, approving and dissenting. Not at all what I really expected to happen, to be honest--I kinda thought it would get lost in the noise of others commenting around the whole thing.

But for whatever reason, it's gotten a lot of attention, so I feel a certain responsibility to respond and explain to some of the dissenters who've responded. Not to defend, per se, but to at least demonstrate some recognition and attempt to clarify my position where I think it's gotten mis-heard. (To those who approved of the message, thank you for your support, and I'm happy to have vocalized something you felt unable, unwilling, unheard, or too busy to vocalize yourself. I hope my explanations here continue to represent your opinions, but if not, please feel free to let me know.)

A lot of the opinions centered around a few core ideas, it seems, so let me try and respond to those first.

You're confusing "craftsmanship" with a few people behaving badly. That may well be, but those who behaved badly included at least one who holds himself up as a leader of the craftsman movement and has held his actions up as indications of how "craftsmen" should behave. When you do this, you invite this kind of criticism and association. So if the movement is being given a black eye because of the actions of a single individual, well, now you know how a bunch of moderate Republicans feel about Paul Ryan.

Corey is a nice guy, he apologized, don't crucify him. Of course he is. Corey is a nice guy--and, speaking well to his character, he apologized almost immediately when it all broke. I learned a long time ago that "true sorry" means you (a) apologize for your actions, (b) seek to remedy the damage your actions have caused ("make it right", in other words), and (c) avoid making the same mistake in the future. From a distance, it seems like he feels contrition, and has publicly apologized for his actions. I would hope he's reached out to Heather directly to try and make things right with her, but that's between the two of them. Whether he avoids this kind of activity in the future remains to be seen. I think he will, but that's because I think he's learned a harsh lesson about being in the spotlight--it tends to be a harsh place to be. The rest of this really isn't about Corey and Heather anymore, so as far as I'm concerned, that thread complete.

You misunderstand the nature of "craftsmanship". Actually, no, I don't. At its heart, the original intent of "craftsmanship" was a constant striving to be better about what you do, and taking pride in the things that you do. It's related to the Japanese code of the samurai (kaizen) that says, in essence, that we are constantly striving to get better. The samurai sought to become better swordsmen, constantly challenging each other to prove the mettle against one another, improving their skills and, conditioning, but also their honor, by how they treated each other, their lord, their servants, and those they sought to protect. Kanban is a wonderful code, and one I have tried to live my entire life, even before I'd discovered it. Please don't assume that I misunderstand the teachings of your movement just because I don't go to the meetings.

Why you pick on "craftsmanship", anyway? If I want to take pride in what I do, what difference does it make? This is me paraphrasing on much of the dissent, and my response boils down to two basic thoughts:

1. If you think your movement is "just about yourself", why invent a label to differentiate yourself from the rest?
2. If you invent a label, it becomes almost automatic to draw a line between "us" and "them", and that in of itself almost automatically leads to "us vs them" behavior and mentality.

There were some specific blogs and comments that I think deserve discusson, too:

Dave Thomas was kind enough to comment on my blog:

I remember the farmer comment :) I think I said 30%, but I stand by what I said. And it isn't really an elitist stance. Instead, I feel that programming is hard work. At the end of a day of coding, I'm tired. And so I believe that if you are asking someone to do programming, then it is in both your and their interest that they are doing something they enjoy. Because if they don't enjoy it, then they are truly just a laborer, working hard at something that has no meaning to them. And as you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week doing it, that seems like an awful waste of an intelligent person's life.

The farming quote was a deliberate attempt at being shocking to make a point. But I still think it is valid. I'd guess that 30% of the developers I meet are not happy in their work. And I think those folks would be happier and more fulfilled doing something else that gave them more satisfaction.

No one should have to be a laborer.

Nate commented:

You have a logical fallacy by lumping together the people that derided Heather's code and people that are involved in software craftmanship. It's actually a huge leap of logic to make that connection, and it really retracts from the article.

Now you realise that you are planting your flag firmly in the 'craftmanship' camp while propelling your position upwards by drawing a line in the sand to define another group of people as 'labourers'. Or in other words attempt to elevate yourself by patronising others with the position you think you are paying them a compliment. Maybe you do not realise this?

However, have you considered that the craft is not how awesome and perfect you and your code are, but what is applicable for the task at hand. I think most people who you would put into either camp share the same mix of attributes whether good or bad. The important thing is if the solution created does what it is designed to do, is delivered on time for when it is needed and if the environment that the solution has been created for warrants it, that the code is easily understandable by yourself and others (that matter) so it can be developed further over time and maintained.

I don't wish to judge you, and maybe you are a great, smart guy who does good in the world, but like you I have not researched anything about you, I have simply read your assessment above and come to a conclusion, that's being human I guess.

The above just sounds like more of the same 'elitism' that has been ripe in this world from playground to the workplace since the beginning.

In It's OK to love your job, Chad McCallum says that

The basic premise (or at least the one the author start out with) is that because there’s a self-declared group of “software craftspeople”, there is going to be an egotistical divide between those who “get it” and those who don’t.

Chad also says,

It’s true the feedback that Heather got was unnecessarily negative. And that it came from people who are probably considered “software craftspeople”. That said, correlation doesn’t equal causation. I’m guessing the negative feedback was more because those original offenders had a bad day and needed to vent. And maybe the comments after that one just jumped on the bandwagon because someone with lots of followers and/or respect said it.

These are both things that can and have happened to anyone, regardless of the industry they work in. It’s extremely unfair to associate “someone who’s passionate about software development” to “person who’s waiting to jump on you for your mistakes”.

Chad closes his blog with "Stop calling us egotistical jerks just because we love what we do." To which I respond, "I am happy to do so, as soon as those 'craftsmen' who are acting like one, stop acting like one." If you're not acting like one, then there should be no argument here. If you're trying to tell me that your label is somehow immune to criticism, then I think we just have to agree to disagree.

Paul Pagel (on a site devoted to software craftsmanship, no less) responded as well with his Humble Pursuit of Mastery. He opens with:

I have been reading on blogs and tweets the sentiment that "software craftsmanship is elitism". This perception is formed around comments of code, process, or techniques. I understand a craftsman's earned sense of pride in their work can sometimes be inappropriately communicated.

Paul then goes through a summation of his career, making sure to smallcaps certain terms with which I have no argument: "sacrifice", "listen", "practicing", "critique" and "teaching". And, in all honesty, these are things that I embrace, as well. But I start getting a little dubious about the sanctity of your terminology, Paul, when it's being used pretty blatantly as an advertising slogan and theme all over the site--if you want the term to remain a Zen-like pursuit, then you need to keep the commercialism out of it, in my opinion, or you invite the kind of criticism that's coming here (explicit or implicit).

Paul's conclusion wraps up with:

Do sacrificing, listening, practice, critiquing, and teaching sound like elitist qualities to you? Software craftsmanship starts out as a humble endeavor moving towards mastery. I won't let 140 or 1000 characters redefine the hours and years spent working hard to become a craftsman. It gave me humility and the confidence to be a professional software developer. Sometimes I let confidence get the better of me, but I know when that happens I am not honoring the spirit of craftsmanship which I was trained.

Finally, Matt van Horn wrote in Crafsmanship, a rebuttal that:

there is an allusion to software craftsmen as being an exclusive group who agre on the “right” tools and techniques. This could not be further from the truth. Anyone who is serious about their craft knows that for every job there are some tools that are better and some that are worse.

Now, I may not have a good definition of elegant code, but I definitely know it when I see it – regardless of who wrote it. If you can’t see that

(1..10).each{|i| puts i}

is more elegant than

x = 0
while true do
  x = x + 1
  if x > 10
    break
  end
  puts x
end

then you must near the beginning of your journey towards mastery. Practicing your craft develops your ability to recognize these differences, just as a skilled tailor can more easily spot the difference between a bespoke suit and something from Men’s Wearhouse.

Or, to put it much more succinctly, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

Matt then tells me I missed the point of the samurai and tea master story:

inally, he closes with a famous zen story, but he entirely misses the point of it. The story concerns a tea master, and a samurai, who get into a duel. The tea master prevails by bringing the same concentration to the duel that he brings to his tea ceremony. The point that Ted seems to miss here is that the tea master is a craftsman of the highest order. A master of cha-do (the way of tea) is able to transform the simple act of making and pouring a cup of tea into something transcendant by bringing to this simple act a clear mind, a good attitude, and years of patient, humble practice. Arguably he prevails because he has perfected his craft to a higher degree than the samurai has perfected his own. That is why he has earned the right to wear the garb of a samurai, and why he is able to face down his opponent.

Billy Hollis is a master with VB, far more than I ever will be; I know C++ far better than he ever will. I respect his abilities, and he, mine. There is no argument here. But more importantly, there are friends I've worked with in the past who are masters with neither VB nor C++, nor any other programming language, but chose instead to sink their time and energy into skiing, pottery, or being a fan of a television show. They chose to put their energies--energies the "craftsmen" seem to say should be put towards their programming--towards things that bring them joy, which happen to not be programming.

Which brings me to another refrain that came up over and over again: You criticize the craftsman, but then you draw a distinction between "craftsman" and "laborer". You're confusing (or confused). First of all, I think it important to disambiguate along two axes: those who are choosing to invest their time into learning to write better software, and those who are choosing to look at writing code as "just" a job as one axis, and along a second axis, the degree to which they have mastered programming. By your own definitions, "craftsmen", can one be early in your mastery of programming and still be a "craftsman"? Can one be a master bowler who's just picked up programming and be considered a "craftsman"? Is the nature of "craftsmanship" a measure of your skill, or is it your dedication to programming, or is it your dedication to something in your life, period? (Remember, the tea master parable says that a master C++ developer will see the master bowler and respect his mastery of bowling, even though he can't code worth a crap. Would you call him a "craftsman"?)

Frankly, I will say, for the record, that I think there are people programming who don't want to put a ton of time and energy into learning how to be better programmers. (I suspect that most of them won't ever read this blog, either.) They see the job as "just a job", and are willing to be taught how to do things, but aren't willing to go off and learn how to do them on their own. They want to do the best job they can, because they, like any human being, want to bring value to the world, but don't have that passion for programming. They want to come in at 9, do their job, and go home at 5. These are those whom I call "laborers". They are the "fisherman" in the following story:

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor."

The businessman scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?" To which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." "But what then, señor?" The businessman laughed and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions." "Millions, señor? Then what?" The businessman said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

What makes all of this (this particular subject, craftsmanship) particularly hard for me is that I like the message that craftsmanship brings, in terms of how you conduct yourself. I love the book Apprenticeship Patterns, for example, and think that anyone, novice or master, should read this book. I have taken on speaking apprentices in the past, and will continue to do so well into the future. The message that underlies the meme of craftsmanship--the constant striving to improve--is a good one, and I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you have adopted "craftsmanship" as a core value of yours, then please, by all means, continue to practice it! Myself, I choose to do so, as well. I have mentored programmers, I have taken speaking apprentices, and I strive to learn more about my craft by branching my studies out well beyond software--I am reading books on management, psychology, building architecture, and business, because I think there is more to software than just the choice of programming language or style.

But be aware that if you start telling people how you're living your life, there is an implicit criticism or expectation that they should be doing that, as well. And when you start criticizing other peoples' code as being "unelegant" or "unbeautiful" or "unclean", you'd better be able to explain your value system and why you judged it as so. Humility is a hard, hard path to tread, and one that I have only recently started to see the outlines of; I am guilty of just about every sin imaginable when it comes to this subject. I have created "elegant" systems that failed their original intent. I have criticized "ugly" code that, in fact, served the purpose well. I have bragged of my own accomplishments to those who accomplished a lot more than I did, or ever will. And I consider it amazing to me that my friends who've been with me since long before I started to eat my justly-deserved humble pie are still with me. (And that those friends are some amazing people in their own right.; if a man is judged by the company he keeps, then by looking around at my friends, I am judged to be a king.) I will continue to strive to be better than I am now, though, even within this discussion right now: those of you who took criticism with my post, you have good points, all of you, and I certainly don't want to stop you from continuing on your journeys of self-discovery, either.

And if we ever cross paths in person, I will buy you a beer so that we can sit down, and we can continue this discussion in person.

I don't know Heather Arthur from Eve. Never met her, never read an article by her, seen a video she's in or shot, or seen her code. Matter of fact, I don't even know that she is a "she"--I'm just guessing from the name.

But apparently she got quite an ugly reaction from a few folks when she open-sourced some code:

So I went to see what people were saying about this project. I searched Twitter and several tweets came up. One of them, I guess the original one, was basically like “hey, this is cool”, but then the rest went like this:
"I cannot even make this stuff up." --@steveklabnik
"Ever wanted to make sed or grep worse?" --@zeeg
"@steveklabnik or just point to the actual code file. eyes bleeding!" --@coreyhaines
At this point, all I know is that by creating this project I’ve done something very wrong. It seemed liked I’d done something fundamentally wrong, so stupid that it flabbergasts someone. So wrong that it doesn’t even need to be explained. And my code is so bad it makes people’s eyes bleed. So of course I start sobbing.

I'm criticizing because this is what "software craftsmanship" gets us: an imposed segregation of those who "get it" from those who "don't" based on somebody's arbitrary criteria of what we should or shouldn't be doing. And if somebody doesn't use the "right" tools or code it in the "right" way, then bam! You clearly aren't a "craftsman" (or "craftswoman"?) and you clearly don't care about your craft and you clearly aren't worth the time or energy necessary to support and nourish and grow and....

Frankly, I've not been a fan of this movement since its inception. Dave Thomas (Ruby Dave) was on a software panel with me at a No Fluff Just Stuff show about five years ago when we got on to this subject, and Dave said, point blank, "About half of the programmers in the world should just go take up farming." He paused, and in the moment that followed, I said, "Wow, Dave, way to insult half the room." He immediately pointed out that the people in the room were part of the first half, since they were at a conference, but it just sort of underscored to me how high-handed and high-minded that kind of talk and position can be.

Not all of us writing code have to be artists. Frankly, in the world of painting, there are those who will spend hours and days and months, tiny brushes in hand, jars of pigment just one lumens different from one another, laboring over the finest details, creating just one piece... and then there are those who paint houses with paint-sprayers, out of cans of mass-produced "Cream Beige" found at your local Lowes. And you know what? We need both of them.

I will now coin a term that I consider to be the opposite of "software craftsman": the "software laborer". In my younger days, believing myself to be one of those "craftsmen", a developer who knew C++ in and out, who understood memory management and pointers, who could create elegant and useful solutions in templates and classes and inheritance, I turned up my nose at those "laborers" who cranked out one crappy app after another in (what else?) Visual Basic. My app was tight, lean, and well-tuned; their apps were sloppy, bloated, and ugly. My app was a paragon of reused code; their apps were cut-and-paste cobbled-together duct-tape wonders. My app was a shining beacon on a hill for all the world to admire; their apps were mindless drones, slogging through the mud.... Yeah, OK, so you get the idea.

But the funny thing was, those "laborers" were going home at 5 every day. Me, I was staying sometimes until 9pm, wallowing in the wonderment of my code. And, I have to wonder, how much of that was actually not the wonderment of my code, but the wonderment of "me" over the wonderment of "code".

Speaking of, by the way, there appear to be the makings of another such false segregation, in the areas of "functional programming". In defense of Elliott Rusty Harold's blog the other day (which I criticized, and still stand behind, for the reasons I cited there), there are a lot of programmers that are falling into the trap of thinking that "all the cool kids are using functional programming, so if I want to be a cool kid, I have to use functional programming too, even though I'm not sure what I'm doing....". Not all the cool kids are using FP. Some aren't even using OOP. Some are just happily humming along using good ol' fashioned C. And producing some really quality stuff doing so.

See, I have to wonder just how much of the software "craftsmanship" being touted isn't really a narcissistic "Look at me, world! Look at how much better I am because I care about what I do! Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!" kind of mentality. Too much of software "craftsmanship" seems to be about the "me" part of "my code". And when I think about why that is, I come to an interesting assertion: That if we take the name away from the code, and just look at the code, we can't really tell what's "elegant" code, what's "hack" code, and what was "elegant hack because there were all these other surrounding constraints outside the code". Without the context, we can't tell.

A few years after my high point as a C++ "craftsman", I was asked to do a short, one-week programming gig/assignment, and the more I looked at it, the more it screamed "VB" at me. And I discovered that what would've taken me probably a month to do in C++ was easily accomplished in a few days in VB. I remember looking at the code, and feeling this sickening, sinking sense of despair at how stupid I must've looked, crowing. VB isn't a bad language--and neither is C++. Or Java. Or C#. Or Groovy, or Scala, or Python, or, heck, just about any language you choose to name. (Except Perl. I refuse to cave on that point. Mostly for comedic effect.)

But more importantly, somebody who comes in at 9, does what they're told, leaves at 5, and never gives a rat's ass about programming except for what they need to know to get their job done, I have respect for them. Yes, some people will want to hold themselves up as "painters", and others will just show up at your house at 8 in the morning with drop cloths. Both have their place in the world. Neither should be denigrated for their choices about how they live their lives or manage their careers. (Yes, there's a question of professional ethics--I want the house painters to make sure they do a good job, too, but quality can come just as easily from the nozzle of a spray painter as it does from the tip of a paintbrush.)

I end this with one of my favorite parables from Japanese lore:

Several centuries ago, a tea master worked in the service of Lord Yamanouchi. No-one else performed the way of the tea to such perfection. The timing and the grace of his every move, from the unfurling of mat, to the setting out of the cups, and the sifting of the green leaves, was beauty itself. His master was so pleased with his servant, that he bestowed upon him the rank and robes of a Samurai warrior.

When Lord Yamanouchi travelled, he always took his tea master with him, so that others could appreciate the perfection of his art. On one occasion, he went on business to the great city of Edo, which we now know as Tokyo.

When evening fell, the tea master and his friends set out to explore the pleasure district, known as the floating world. As they turned the corner of a wooden pavement, they found themselves face to face with two Samurai warriors.

The tea master bowed, and politely step into the gutter to let the fearsome ones pass. But although one warrior went by, the other remained rooted to the spot. He stroked a long black whisker that decorated his face, gnarled by the sun, and scarred by the sword. His eyes pierced through the tea maker’s heart like an arrow.

He did not quite know what to make of the fellow who dressed like a fellow Samurai, yet who would willingly step aside into a gutter. What kind of warrior was this? He looked him up and down. Where were broad shoulders and the thick neck of a man of force and muscle? Instinct told him that this was no soldier. He was an impostor who by ignorance or impudence had donned the uniform of a Samurai. He snarled: “Tell me, oh strange one, where are you from and what is your rank?”

The tea master bowed once more. “It is my honour to serve Lord Yamanouchi and I am his master of the way of the tea.”

“A tea-sprout who dares to wear the robes of Samurai?” exclaimed the rough warrior.

The tea master’s lip trembled. He pressed his hands together and said: “My lord has honoured me with the rank of a Samurai and he requires me to wear these robes. “

The warrior stamped the ground like a raging a bull and exclaimed: “He who wears the robes of a Samurai must fight like a Samurai. I challenge you to a duel. If you die with dignity, you will bring honour to your ancestors. And if you die like a dog, at least you will be no longer insult the rank of the Samurai !”

By now, the hairs on the tea master’s neck were standing on end like the feet of a helpless centipede that has been turned upside down. He imagined he could feel that edge of the Samurai blade against his skin. He thought that his last second on earth had come.

But the corner of the street was no place for a duel with honour. Death is a serious matter, and everything has to be arranged just so. The Samurai’s friend spoke to the tea master’s friends, and gave them the time and the place for the mortal contest.

When the fierce warriors had departed, the tea master’s friends fanned his face and treated his faint nerves with smelling salts. They steadied him as they took him into a nearby place of rest and refreshment. There they assured him that there was no need to fear for his life. Each one of them would give freely of money from his own purse, and they would collect a handsome enough sum to buy the warrior off and make him forget his desire to fight a duel. And if by chance the warrior was not satisfied with the bribe, then surely Lord Yamanouchi would give generously to save his much prized master of the way of the tea.

But these generous words brought no cheer to the tea master. He thought of his family, and his ancestors, and of Lord Yamanouchi himself, and he knew that he must not bring them any reason to be ashamed of him.

“No,” he said with a firmness that surprised his friends. “I have one day and one night to learn how to die with honour, and I will do so.”

And so speaking, he got up and returned alone to the court of Lord Yamanouchi. There he found his equal in rank, the master of fencing, he was skilled as no other in the art of fighting with a sword.

“Master,” he said, when he had explained his tale, “Teach me to die like a Samurai.”

But the master of fencing was a wise man, and he had a great respect for the master of the Tea ceremony. And so he said: “I will teach you all you require, but first, I ask that you perform the way of the Tea for me one last time.”

The tea master could not refuse this request. As he performed the ceremony, all trace of fear seemed to leave his face. He was serenely concentrated on the simple but beautiful cups and pots, and the delicate aroma of the leaves. There was no room in his mind for anxiety. His thoughts were focused on the ritual.

When the ceremony was complete, the fencing master slapped his thigh and exclaimed with pleasure : “There you have it. No need to learn anything of the way of death. Your state of mind when you perform the tea ceremony is all that is required. When you see your challenger tomorrow, imagine that you are about to serve tea for him. Salute him courteously, express regret that you could not meet him sooner, take of your coat and fold it as you did just now. Wrap your head in a silken scarf and and do it with the same serenity as you dress for the tea ritual. Draw your sword, and hold it high above your head. Then close your eyes and ready yourself for combat. “

And that is exactly what the tea master did when, the following morning, at the crack of dawn he met his opponent. The Samurai warrior had been expecting a quivering wreck and he was amazed by the tea master’s presence of mind as he prepared himself for combat. The Samurai’s eyes were opened and he saw a different man altogether. He thought he must have fallen victim to some kind of trick or deception ,and now it was he who feared for his life. The warrior bowed, asked to be excused for his rude behaviour, and left the place of combat with as much speed and dignity as he could muster.

My name is Ted Neward. And I bow with respect to the "software laborers" of the world, who churn out quality code without concern for "craftsmanship", because their lives are more than just their code.

Elliott Rusty Harold is blogging that functional programming in Java is dangerous. He's wrong, and he's way late to the party on this one--it's coming to Java whether he likes it or not.

Go read his post first, while I try to sum up the reasons he cites for saying it's dangerous:

1. Java is not a lazy-evaluated language. Programmers in Java will screw up and create heap and stack errors as a result.
2. See? Here's a naive implementation of Clojure code taken directly over to Java and look how it blows up.
3. Programmers can do bad things with this idea, so therefore we should avoid it.
4. Oh, and by the way, it's "dangerously inefficient" in Java/JVM, even though I offer no perf benchmarks or comparisons to back this statement, and I'm somehow ignoring that Clojure and Scala run on the JVM as well, apparently without problem.

Look, as Elliott points out, Java is not Haskell. Neither is it Lisp. It's its own language, rooted in imperative and object-oriented history, but no less able to incorporate functional features into its development than Lisp could incorporate object-oriented features. However, if you do stupid things, like trying to re-create an infinite (implicitly lazily-evaluated) list in Clojure by creating an actualized list that stretches to infinity... you're going to blow the JVM up. Duh. Not even the supercomputer on the USS Enterprise five hundred years from now will be able to construct that list.

Porting code from one language to another is not a trivial exercise. If you attempt to port line-for-line and expression-for-expression, you can expect that your ported code will not be idiomatically correct. (I know this already, having done the exercise myself.) The root of the problem in his ported code is twofold. One, he (rather foolishly and in elegant strawman fashion) badly simulates what an infinite list would look like in Java--a commenter does the better job by showing how an Iterator can be made to perform the same thing that Haskell actually does under the hood by producing the next value on demand, rather than trying to create a list of Integers stretching to infinity. For someone who professes to have some Haskell experience and love, it surprises me that Elliott makes this kind of mistake, which leads me to conclude that he's trying to create the strawman. Two, he assumes that anyone who programs in Java functionally will have to create all of their functional tools by hand, and frankly, using Guava or FJ here would make this code sample a LOT easier to swallow. The fact that he ignores both of these in his stawman again sort of reinforces the idea that he's deliberately crippling his strawman to make his point.

His underlying point, though, seems to be simple: "I work with bad programmers, who don't seem to understand how to write code functionally in Java without screwing it up." Dude. Sucks to be you. "Bad programmers will move heaven and earth to do the wrong thing." --Glenn Vanderburg.

What really sucks for him is that these features are coming in Java 8, including lambda expressions and library support including a Stream interface that will allow for exactly this kind of code to be written without pain. Those programmers Elliott is working with are going to be even more on fire to use their functional approaches (and all the associated goodness of doing so, including composability and what-not) in their Java code. What might make Elliott more happy is that at least they won't have written it; it'll all be written by guys much smarter than any of them.

I just added this to my Tech 2013 Predictions; I think they're important enough to re-post here as new content too:

• Hardware is the new platform. A buddy of mine (Scott Davis) pointed out on a mailing list we share that "hardware is the new platform", and with Microsoft's Surface out now, there's three major players (Apple, Google, Microsoft) in this game. It's becoming apparent that more and more companies are starting to see opportunities in going the Apple route of owning not just the OS and the store, but the hardware underneath it. More and more companies are going to start playing this game, too, I think, and we're going to see Amazon take some shots here, and probably a few others. Of course, already announced is the Ubuntu Phone, and a new Android-like player, Tizen, but I'm not thinking about new players--there's always new players--but about some of the big standouts. And look for companies like Dell and HP to start looking for ways to play in this game, too, either through partnerships or acquisitions. (Hello, Oracle, I'm looking at you.... And Adobe, too.)
• APIs for lots of things are going to come out. Ford just did this. This is not going away--this is going to proliferate. And the startup community is going to lap it up like kittens attacking a bowl of cream. If you're looking for a play in the startup world, pursue this.

A year ago today (roughly), I gave the opening keynote at CodeMash 2.0.1.2. For those of you who were there, I don't think I need to tell you what happened. For those of you who weren't there, you probably still heard about, thanks to the Twitterstream of comments and counter-comments that followed. I've more or less tried to keep quiet about it since that time, trying to just let the furor die down (and it did, pretty quickly, I thought) out of respect to the conference organizers.

But with the show starting up again this week, and there having been a few people over the last twelve months who've asked me about "what the f*ck were you thinking" (whether that was in deliberate pun/jest or not, I can't always tell), and most importantly, now that I know that Jim and I are square with each other (thanks to a Twitter conversation a few days ago), I figure it's time to come clean and tell my side of the story.

TL;DR: If I had the chance to do the keynote over again, I'd do it differently.

(By the way, the rest of this post does have a few profanities in it, so if you're offended by that sort of thing, this is a good place to stop reading. Or, as the movies would say, this post is rated PG-13 for adult language.)

As a speaker, I have always sought to create a "persona" on stage that allowed me the maximum freedom of expression and opportunity to get my point across. A long time ago, when I started teaching at DevelopMentor, I learned from some of the best--one of those best being, of course, Don Box, but another of those was Ted Pattison. It was he who taught me that "If you can make 'em laugh, you can do whatever you want to them" (meaning the audience). He demonstrated this quite graphically by guest-lecturing in one of my classes once, early in my tenure as a DM instructor, and promptly castrated one of the students who was constantly irritating the class (and me) with off-topic questions. It was an eye-opening experience. Later, Don mentioned in passing that what we did was "equal parts education and entertainment". Education because, yes, it's what we do, but entertainment, too, because if the room falls asleep, then they're not getting educated.

And folks, I've sat in those chairs, I know how boring talks can be sometimes. And that sometimes, despite your best efforts, no matter how interesting the material, it can just be sooooo easy to pop open the laptop and do some email. Or write some code. Or even let the ambient warmth of the room in a post-lunch talk just... make... eyes... so heavy.... I get it, really.

So I decided, quite consciously, to develop a speaking persona that was a little on the edge, a little outrageous, a little "over the top", because then that persona gave me the freedom to do some of the crazy things that would keep the crowd awake and on its toes. I stand people up from the audience and use them in my demos. I write code on the fly based on their questions, and I try to use examples that allow for a certain amount of "Wow, that was weird, so I'll remember it better" in the demo itself. Case in point: when writing code to demonstrate delegates and events in C#, I would use the idea of a "Rock Band" and its fan club which, of course, must include groupies.

Is it politically correct to talk about groupies in a professional programming classroom setting? Probably not. Did anybody complain? Never heard one, directly or indirectly. Part of that, I believe, was because they got the point of the demo, and that was the point. Not that I was advocating groupie-ism, or that rock bands were more interesting than programming, but that the domain was easy enough to grip in their heads, and that made the result (loose coupling between event generators and consumers, in the case of delegates and events) more easily understood.

Analogies, for me, are never gratuitous. I choose my analogies quite carefully, and try to be very clear about where and when they do break down, because all analogies break down eventually. Even my most famous analogy breaks down, as many people have pointed out: nobody has ever died from O/R-Ms. Yep. But your wife's eyes were never burning balls of superheated plasma billions of light years away, either.

Point is, I deliberately seek ways to keep you entertained. And you know what? Entertainment often comes, in the case, from making the room laugh, and humor most often derives from the unexpected. And what's more unexpected than a profanity dropped at the most unexpected moment?

You don't have to agree with that sentiment to realize that it's FUCKING true.

When I got up to speak at CodeMash, I wanted very badly for this to be the best damn keynote I'd ever done in my life up to that point. I wanted the room to rock. Buzzing. Yes, I wanted to succeed very, very badly. It was an early-morning keynote, first one of the show. People were still milling around, there was a lot of background noise. People were still eating breakfast and waking up. And when Keith Elder, just before he introduced me to the crowd, whispered (I'm paraphrasing here) "Put some energy into this crowd, would ya?", I said to myself, "Oh, yeah. I'm on it."

A little TOO on it, as it turns out. I went way overboard. Brian Prince counted 18 f-bombs that day. Others counted, as well; lowest total I heard was 13, highest was 23. Needless to say, it was a carpet bombing to rival anything we ever did to North Vietnam. Made Dresden look like a weenie roast. (There's probably a Hiroshima joke in there too somewhere, but you get the point.)

The interesting thing about profanity used like that, however, is that it loses its efficacy. They have to be spaced out, chosen carefully, or they lose their impact. Which was, of course, exactly what happened. It's not going to have the 'unexpected' effect if it's coming every other minute or so. No matter how hard you try.

The result? Kind of predictable. Not my best results. For which I am most heartily sorry. I so wanted that keynote to go off so well, and it didn't, and I'm sorry.

For three hours after the keynote was over, as the Twitterstream was dissecting me for all that, I lay on the couch in my hotel room, bordering on tears. Seriously.

Had I the chance to do the keynote over again, you'd better damn well believe that I'd do it differently. Would I cut out all the profanity entirely? Nope. That's a part of my speaking persona, and anyone who brings me to a conference that doesn't know that probably didn't do their homework about me as a speaker beforehand. (It's not like there aren't ample opportunities to see me speaking in person, or videos of the same.) But somebody suggested not too long ago that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to warn people ahead of time, and yep, that's a great idea. Because (and for this, I am really even more sorry) sometimes kids are in the room, such as was the case for CodeMash, and they shouldn't have to hear it unless their parents are OK with it, and I didn't give their parents (or any attendees that felt the same way) an opportunity to "opt out" if they so chose.

I could, I suppose, hide behind the excuse that "We were all adults, we should be able to handle that kind of language", but in the case of the kids, that wasn't the case. Even then, in the case of the adults, you still should be given an opportunity to opt out.

More critically, if the message got lost because of the messenger's choice of words, then I failed as a speaker. And that, my friends, is where the real frustration for me lies--not with the words I used in of themselves, but in that the message--that we as an industry have to break out of our 'box-arrow-box-arrow-cylinder' habits and modes of thinking--got lost for so many people, That is how I failed most of all, and it is on those grounds that I say, once again, I am sorry.

To you, Jim, and to the rest of the CodeMash staff, I am particularly sorry. CodeMash is your baby, and I gave it a black eye.

To the attendees of CodeMash 2.0.1.2, I am sorry if my language offended you and distracted you from the message I was trying to deliver. I hope that you were able to get past it and enjoy the rest of the show. I think a lot of you did--many came up to me afterwards, but it was such a small fraction of the total I don't want to assume anything.

Enjoy CodeMash 2.0.1.3. With any luck, I'll see you there next year: hopefully a little wiser, but still just as FUCKING outrageous as I have always been, only this time, with an up-front disclaimer.

Flame away.

F# Deep Dives, by Tomas Petricek and Phillip Trelford, Manning Publications

As many readers of my writing will already know, I've been kind of "involved" with F# (and its cousin on the JVM, Scala) for a few years now, to the degree that I and a couple of really smart guys wrote a book on the subject. Now, assuming you're one of the .NET developers who've heard of F# and functional programming, and took a gander at the syntax, and maybe even bought a book on it (my publisher and I both thank you if you bought ours), but weren't quite sure what to do with it, a book has come along to help get you past that.

As of this writing, the early-access (what Manning calls their MEAP) version had only Chapters 3 ("Parsing text-based languages") and Chapter 11 ("Creating games using XNA"), but the other topics ("Integrating external data into the F# language", "Handling dirty data with machine learning" and "Functional programming in the cloud" are just three of the other chapters listed) are juicy and meaty, and both Tomas and Philip are recognized names in the F# space. Neither are strangers to the subject material nor to writing, and the prose from the MEAP edition is pretty easy to read already, despite the fact that it's early-access material. In particular, the Markdown parser they implement in chapter 3 is a great example of a non-trivial language parser, which is not an easy task to approach but certainly a lot easier to do in a functional language. (For the record, I built a custom parser of my own for generating slides, and the blog entries that described the early implementations are here, and yes, I really should finish that series out, I know. I got more interested in extending the system, then realized I needed a full-fledged parser, and got distracted trying to integrate... surprise, surprise... Tomas' Markdown parser that he made available online.)

This book looks really promising, and I'm really hopeful Manning will send me a copy when it comes out, so I can level up my F# myself.

Metaprogramming in .NET, by Kevin Hazzard and Jason Bock, Manning Publications

TL;DR: This is a great book (not perfect), but not an easy read for everyone, not because the writing is bad, but because the subject is a whole new level of abstraction above what most developers deal with.

Full disclosure: Manning Publications is a publisher I've published with before, and Kevin and Jason are both friends of mine in the .NET community. I write a column for MSDN Magazine, and metaprogramming was one of the topics in one of the series I've written ("Metaparadigmatic Programming") for the column, so this subject is not unfamiliar to me.

Kevin and Jason have done a great job covering a pretty diverse subject, in my opinion. Because metaprogramming is "programming about programming", it's sometimes a hard concept for people who've never really investigated it to wrap their heads around, but Kevin and Jason do a great job opening with some concepts first, then exploring .NET Reflection, which is most developers' first introduction to metaprogramming. If you can understand how Reflection is programming against code and code metadata, then you're in a good place to start exploring metaprogramming in further depth.

And explore it they do. From code generation with T4, CodeDOM and Reflection.Emit to code-level Expressions to low-level IL munging, they take you through a lot of the metaprogramming tools. They've also tried to include some practical places where these techniques are useful, though I do wish the examples had been a bit "larger", meaning they were integrated into the larger picture of a "real-world" system, but that's hard to do sometimes, and most readers sufficiently senior enough to read this book should be able to see how to apply them to their own problems. I also wish they'd approached generics a bit more thoroughly, since that's another metaprogrammatic technique that often doesn't get much love from developers (most of whom seem to view generics as a necessary evil, not a huge opportunity for design power), but maybe that would've been too much head-exploding for one book. Writing a LINQ provider would've been a good enhancement to the book, but again, that may have been a little too much for one book. I also wish they had put an IL overview into its own chapter, since it comes up in several chapters at once and would've been good as a reference, but there's books out there on IL, which hasn't changed much since .NET 2.0 days, so readers finding IL challenging should pick up one of those if they're finding their heads spinning a little on the IL syntax.

Having taken you through those techniques, though, they then take a different tack and take you through scripting languages and the Microsoft Dynamic Language Runtime (DLR), as well as into a few "alternative" languages for the CLR, which is an entirely different way of approaching metaprogrammatic techniques. Nemerle, for example, is a language that supports macros defined within the language, a technique that generally is limited to Lisps. (I admit it, Nemerle is one of my favorite CLR languages, and should be something every .NET developer plays with for at least a weekend.) They also include the first published coverage that I'm aware of on Roslyn, the Compiler-as-a-Service project under way at Microsoft, so readers intrigued by how they might use the compiler as part of their development efforts in v.Next of Visual Studio should definitely have a look.

Overall, the writing style is crisp, clean, not too academic but not too folksy, and entirely representative of two men I've been privileged to meet, have interesting technical conversations with, and have over to my house for dinner. Both are extremely approachable, and their text reflects this. Every .NET developer that wants to claim "senior" or "guru" level status should read this book and experiment with one or more of these techniques; these are the things that the "cool kids" in the .NET world know how to do, and if you want to hang with the best, this is the book you'll read cover to cover.

(This review was posted to Amazon at the above link on 5 Jan 2013, then copy-and-pasted here because I like posting reviews to my blog as well as to Amazon.)

Once again, it's time for my annual prognostication and review of last year's efforts. For those of you who've been long-time readers, you know what this means, but for those two or three of you who haven't seen this before, let's set the rules: if I got a prediction right from last year, you take a drink, and if I didn't, you take a drink. (Best. Drinking game. EVAR!)

Let's begin....

Recap: 2012 Predictions

THEN: Lisps will be the languages to watch.

With Clojure leading the way, Lisps (that is, languages that are more or less loosely based on Common Lisp or one of its variants) are slowly clawing their way back into the limelight. Lisps are both functional languages as well as dynamic languages, which gives them a significant reason for interest. Clojure runs on top of the JVM, which makes it highly interoperable with other JVM languages/systems, and Clojure/CLR is the version of Clojure for the CLR platform, though there seems to be less interest in it in the .NET world (which is a mistake, if you ask me).

NOW: Clojure is definitely cementing itself as a "critic's darling" of a language among the digital cognoscenti, but I don't see its uptake increasing--or decreasing. It seems that, like so many critic's darlings, those who like it are using it, and those who aren't have either never heard of it (the far more likely scenario) or don't care for it. Datomic, a NoSQL written by the creator of Clojure (Rich Hickey), is interesting, but I've not heard of many folks taking it up, either. And Clojure/CLR is all but dead, it seems. I score myself a "0" on this one.

THEN: Functional languages will....

I have no idea. As I said above, I'm kind of stymied on the whole functional-language thing and their future. I keep thinking they will either "take off" or "drop off", and they keep tacking to the middle, doing neither, just sort of hanging in there as a concept for programmers to take and run with. Mind you, I like functional languages, and I want to see them become mainstream, or at least more so, but I keep wondering if the mainstream programming public is ready to accept the ideas and concepts hiding therein. So this year, let's try something different: I predict that they will remain exactly where they are, neither "done" nor "accepted", but continue next year to sort of hang out in the middle.

NOW: Functional concepts are slowly making their way into the mainstream of programming topics, but in some cases, programmers seem to be picking-and-choosing which of the functional concepts they believe in. I've heard developers argue vehemently about "lazy values" but go "meh" about lack-of-side-effects, or vice versa. Moreover, it seems that developers are still taking an "object-first, functional-when-I-need-it" kind of approach, which seems a little object-heavy, if you ask me. So, since the concepts seem to be taking some sort of shallow root, I don't know that I get the point for this one, but at the same time, it's not like I was wildly off. So, let's say "0" again.

THEN: F#'s type providers will show up in C# v.Next.

This one is actually a "gimme", if you look across the history of F# and C#: for almost every version of F# v."N", features from that version show up in C# v."N+1". More importantly, F# 3.0's type provider feature is an amazing idea, and one that I think will open up language research in some very interesting ways. (Not sure what F#'s type providers are or what they'll do for you? Check out Don Syme's talk on it at BUILD last year.)

NOW: C# v.Next hasn't been announced yet, so I can't say that this one has come true. We should start hearing some vague rumors out of Redmond soon, though, so maybe 2013 will be the year that C# gets type providers (or some scaled-back version thereof). Again, a "0".

THEN: Windows8 will generate a lot of chatter.

As 2012 progresses, Microsoft will try to force a lot of buzz around it by keeping things under wraps until various points in the year that feel strategic (TechEd, BUILD, etc). In doing so, though, they will annoy a number of people by not talking about them more openly or transparently.

NOW: Oh, my, did they. Windows8 was announced with a bang, but Microsoft (and Sinofsky, who ran the OS division up until recently) decided that they could go it alone and leave critical partners (like Dropbox!) out of the loop entirely. As a result, the Windows8 Store didn't have a lot of apps in it that people (including myself) really expected would be there. And THEN, there was Surface... which took everybody by surprise, as near as I can tell. Totally under wraps. I'm scoring myself "+2" for that one.

THEN: Windows8 ("Metro")-style apps won't impress at first.

The more I think about it, the more I'm becoming convinced that Metro-style apps on a desktop machine are going to collectively underwhelm. The UI simply isn't designed for keyboard-and-mouse kinds of interaction, and that's going to be the hardware setup that most people first experience Windows8 on--contrary to what (I think) Microsoft thinks, people do not just have tablets laying around waiting for Windows 8 to be installed on it, nor are they going to buy a Windows8 tablet just to try it out, at least not until it's gathered some mojo behind it. Microsoft is going to have to finesse the messaging here very, very finely, and that's not something they've shown themselves to be particularly good at over the last half-decade.

NOW: I find myself somewhat at a loss how to score this one--on the one hand, the "used-to-be-called-Metro"-style applications aren't terrible, and I haven't really heard anyone complain about them tremendously, but at the same time, I haven't heard anyone really go wild and ga-ga over them, either. Part of that, I think, is because there just aren't a lot of apps out there for it yet, aside from a rather skimpy selection of games (compared to the iOS App Store and Android Play Store). Again, I think Microsoft really screwed themselves with this one--keeping it all under wraps helped them make a big "Oh, WOW" kind of event buzz within the conference hall when they announced Surface, for example, but that buzz sort of left the room (figuratively) when people started looking for their favorite apps so they could start using that device. (Which, by the way, isn't a bad piece of hardware, I'm finding.) I'll give myself a "+1" for this.

THEN: Scala will get bigger, thanks to Heroku.

With the adoption of Scala and Play for their Java apps, Heroku is going to make Scala look attractive as a development platform, and the adoption of Play by Typesafe (the same people who brought you Akka) means that these four--Heroku, Scala, Play and Akka--will combine into a very compelling and interesting platform. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes of that.

NOW: We're going to get to cloud in a second, but on the whole, Heroku is now starting to make Scala/Play attractive, arguably as attractive as Ruby/Rails is. Play 2.0 unfortunately is not backwards-compatible with Play 1.x modules, which hurts it, but hopefully the Play community brings that back up to speed fairly quickly. "+1"

THEN: Cloud will continue to whip up a lot of air.

For all the hype and money spent on it, it doesn't really seem like cloud is gathering commensurate amounts of traction, across all the various cloud providers with the possible exception of Amazon's cloud system. But, as the different cloud platforms start to diversify their platform technology (Microsoft seems to be leading the way here, ironically, with the introduction of Java, Hadoop and some limited NoSQL bits into their Azure offerings), and as we start to get more experience with the pricing and costs of cloud, 2012 might be the year that we start to see mainstream cloud adoption, beyond "just" the usage patterns we've seen so far (as a backing server for mobile apps and as an easy way to spin up startups).

NOW: It's been whipping up air, all right, but it's starting to look like tornadoes and hurricanes--the talk of 2012 seems to have been more around notable cloud outages instead of notable cloud successes, capped off by a nationwide Netflix outage on Christmas Eve that seemed to dominate my Facebook feed that night. Later analysis suggested that the outage was with Amazon's AWS cloud, on which Netflix resides, and boy, did that make a few heads spin. I suspect we haven't yet (as of this writing) seen the last of that discussion. Overall, it seems like lots of startups and other greenfield apps are being deployed to the cloud, but it seems like corporations are hesitating to pull the trigger on an "all-in" kind of cloud adoption, because of some of the fears surrounding cloud security and now (of all things) robustness. "+1"

THEN: Android tablets will start to gain momentum.

Amazon's Kindle Fire has hit the market strong, definitely better than any other Android-based tablet before it. The Nooq (the Kindle's principal competitor, at least in the e-reader world) is also an Android tablet, which means that right now, consumers can get into the Android tablet world for far, far less than what an iPad costs. Apple rumors suggest that they may have a 7" form factor tablet that will price competitively (in the $200/$300 range), but that's just rumor right now, and Apple has never shown an interest in that form factor, which means the 7" world will remain exclusively Android's (at least for now), and that's a nice form factor for a lot of things. This translates well into more sales of Android tablets in general, I think.

NOW: Google's Nexus 7 came to dominate the discussion of the 7" tablet, until...

THEN: Apple will release an iPad 3, and it will be "more of the same".

Trying to predict Apple is generally a lost cause, particularly when it comes to their vaunted iOS lines, but somewhere around the middle of the year would be ripe for a new iPad, at the very least. (With the iPhone 4S out a few months ago, it's hard to imagine they'd cannibalize those sales by releasing a new iPhone, until the end of the year at the earliest.) Frankly, though, I don't expect the iPad 3 to be all that big of a boost, just a faster processor, more storage, and probably about the same size. Probably the only thing I'd want added to the iPad would be a USB port, but that conflicts with the Apple desire to present the iPad as a "device", rather than as a "computer". (USB ports smack of "computers", not self-contained "devices".)

NOW: ... the iPad Mini. Which, I'd like to point out, is just an iPad in a 7" form factor. (Actually, I think it's a little bit bigger than most 7" tablets--it looks to be a smidge wider than the other 7" tablets I have.) And the "new iPad" (not the iPad 3, which I call a massive FAIL on the part of Apple marketing) is exactly that: same iPad, just faster. And still no USB port on either the iPad or iPad Mini. So between this one and the previous one, I score myself at "+3" across both.

THEN: Apple will get hauled in front of the US government for... something.

Apple's recent foray in the legal world, effectively informing Samsung that they can't make square phones and offering advice as to what will avoid future litigation, smacks of such hubris and arrogance, it makes Microsoft look like a Pollyanna Pushover by comparison. It is pretty much a given, it seems to me, that a confrontation in the legal halls is not far removed, either with the US or with the EU, over anti-cometitive behavior. (And if this kind of behavior continues, and there is no legal action, it'll be pretty apparent that Apple has a pretty good set of US Congressmen and Senators in their pocket, something they probably learned from watching Microsoft and IBM slug it out rather than just buy them off.)

NOW: Congress has started to take a serious look at the patent system and how it's being used by patent trolls (of which, folks, I include Apple these days) to stifle innovation and create this Byzantine system of cross-patent licensing that only benefits the big players, which was exactly what the patent system was designed to avoid. (Patents were supposed to be a way to allow inventors, who are often independents, to avoid getting crushed by bigger, established, well-monetized firms.) Apple hasn't been put squarely in the crosshairs, but the Economist's article on Apple, Google, Microsoft and Amazon in the Dec 11th issue definitely points out that all four are squarely in the sights of governments on both sides of the Atlantic. Still, no points for me.

THEN: IBM will be entirely irrelevant again.

Look, IBM's main contribution to the Java world is/was Eclipse, and to a much lesser degree, Harmony. With Eclipse more or less "done" (aside from all the work on plugins being done by third parties), and with IBM abandoning Harmony in favor of OpenJDK, IBM more or less removes themselves from the game, as far as developers are concerned. Which shouldn't really be surprising--they've been more or less irrelevant pretty much ever since the mid-2000s or so.

NOW: IBM who? Wait, didn't they used to make a really kick-ass laptop, back when we liked using laptops? "+1"

THEN: Oracle will "screw it up" at least once.

Right now, the Java community is poised, like a starving vulture, waiting for Oracle to do something else that demonstrates and befits their Evil Emperor status. The community has already been quick (far too quick, if you ask me) to highlight Oracle's supposed missteps, such as the JVM-crashing bug (which has already been fixed in the _u1 release of Java7, which garnered no attention from the various Java news sites) and the debacle around Hudson/Jenkins/whatever-the-heck-we-need-to-call-it-this-week. I'll grant you, the Hudson/Jenkins debacle was deserving of ire, but Oracle is hardly the Evil Emperor the community makes them out to be--at least, so far. (I'll admit it, though, I'm a touch biased, both because Brian Goetz is a friend of mine and because Oracle TechNet has asked me to write a column for them next year. Still, in the spirit of "innocent until proven guilty"....)

NOW: It is with great pleasure that I score myself a "0" here. Oracle's been pretty good about things, sticking with the OpenJDK approach to developing software and talking very openly about what they're trying to do with Java8. They're not entirely innocent, mind you--the fact that a Java install tries to monkey with my browser bar by installing some plugin or other and so on is not something I really appreciate--but they're not acting like Ming the Merciless, either. Matter of fact, they even seem to be going out of their way to be community-inclusive, in some circles. I give myself a "-1" here, and I'm happy to claim it. Good job, guys.

THEN: VMWare/SpringSource will start pushing their cloud solution in a major way.

Companies like Microsoft and Google are pushing cloud solutions because Software-as-a-Service is a reoccurring revenue model, generating revenue even in years when the product hasn't incremented. VMWare, being a product company, is in the same boat--the only time they make money is when they sell a new copy of their product, unless they can start pushing their virtualization story onto hardware on behalf of clients--a.k.a. "the cloud". With SpringSource as the software stack, VMWare has a more-or-less complete cloud play, so it's surprising that they didn't push it harder in 2011; I suspect they'll start cramming it down everybody's throats in 2012. Expect to see Rod Johnson talking a lot about the cloud as a result.

NOW: Again, I give myself a "-1" here, and frankly, I'm shocked to be doing it. I really thought this one was a no-brainer. CloudFoundry seemed like a pretty straightforward play, and VMWare already owned a significant share of the virtualization story, so.... And yet, I really haven't seen much by way of significant marketing, advertising, or developer outreach around their cloud story. It's much the same as what it was in 2011; it almost feels like the parent corporation (EMC) either doesn't "get" why they should push a cloud play, doesn't see it as worth the cost, or else doesn't care. Count me confused. "0"

THEN: JavaScript hype will continue to grow, and by years' end will be at near-backlash levels.

JavaScript (more properly known as ECMAScript, not that anyone seems to care but me) is gaining all kinds of steam as a mainstream development language (as opposed to just-a-browser language), particularly with the release of NodeJS. That hype will continue to escalate, and by the end of the year we may start to see a backlash against it. (Speaking personally, NodeJS is an interesting solution, but suggesting that it will replace your Tomcat or IIS server is a bit far-fetched; event-driven I/O is something both of those servers have been doing for years, and the rest of it is "just" a language discussion. We could pretty easily use JavaScript as the development language inside both servers, as Sun demonstrated years ago with their "Phobos" project--not that anybody really cared back then.)

NOW: JavaScript frameworks are exploding everywhere like fireworks at a Disney theme park. Douglas Crockford is getting more invites to conference keynote opportunities than James Gosling ever did. You can get a job if you know how to spell "NodeJS". And yet, I'm starting to hear the same kinds of rumblings about "how in the hell do we manage a 200K LOC codebase written in JavaScript" that I heard people gripe about Ruby/Rails a few years ago. If the backlash hasn't started, then it's right on the cusp. "+1"

THEN: NoSQL buzz will continue to grow, and by years' end will start to generate a backlash.

More and more companies are jumping into NoSQL-based solutions, and this trend will continue to accelerate, until some extremely public failure will start to generate a backlash against it. (This seems to be a pattern that shows up with a lot of technologies, so it seems entirely realistic that it'll happen here, too.) Mind you, I don't mean to suggest that the backlash will be factual or correct--usually these sorts of things come from misuing the tool, not from any intrinsic failure in it--but it'll generate some bad press.

NOW: Recently, I heard that NBC was thinking about starting up a new comedy series called "Everybody Hates Mongo", with Chris Rock narrating. And I think that's just the beginning--lots of companies, particularly startups, decided to run with a NoSQL solution before seriously contemplating how they were going to make up for the things that a NoSQL doesn't provide (like a schema, for a lot of these), and suddenly find themselves wishing they had spent a little more time thinking about that back in the early days. Again, if the backlash isn't already started, it's about to. "+1"

THEN: Ted will thoroughly rock the house during his CodeMash keynote.

Yeah, OK, that's more of a fervent wish than a prediction, but hey, keep a positive attitude and all that, right?

NOW: Welllll..... Looking back at it with almost a years' worth of distance, I can freely admit I dropped a few too many "F"-bombs (a buddy of mine counted 18), but aside from a (very) vocal minority, my takeaway is that a lot of people enjoyed it. Still, I do wish I'd throttled it back some--InfoQ recorded it, and the fact that it hasn't yet seen public posting on the website implies (to me) that they found it too much work to "bleep" out all the naughty words. Which I call "my bad" on, because I think they were really hoping to use that as part of their promotional activities (not that they needed it, selling out again in minutes). To all those who found it distasteful, I apologize, and to those who chafe at the fact that I'm apologizing, I apologize. I take a "-1" here.

2013 Predictions:

Having thus scored myself at a "9" (out of 17) for last year, let's take a stab at a few for next year:

• "Big data" and "data analytics" will dominate the enterprise landscape. I'm actually pretty late to the ballgame to talk about this one, in fact--it was starting its rapid climb up the hype wave already this year. And, part and parcel with going up this end of the hype wave this quickly, it also stands to reason that companies will start marketing the hell out of the term "big data" without being entirely too precise about what they mean when they say "big data".... By the end of the year, people will start building services and/or products on top of Hadoop, which appears primed to be the "Big Data" platform of choice, thus far.
• NoSQL buzz will start to diversify. The various "NoSQL" vendors are going to start wanting to differentiate themselves from each other, and will start using "NoSQL" in their marketing and advertising talking points less and less. Some of this will be because Pandora's Box on data storage has already been opened--nobody's just assuming a relational database all the time, every time, anymore--but some of this will be because the different NoSQL vendors, who are at different stages in the adoption curve, will want to differentiate themselves from the vendors that are taking on the backlash. I predict Mongo, who seems to be leading the way of the NoSQL vendors, will be the sacrificial scapegoat for a lot of the NoSQL backlash that's coming down the pike.
• Desktops increasingly become niche products. Look, does anyone buy a desktop machine anymore? I have three sitting next to me in my office, and none of the three has been turned on in probably two years--I'm exclusively laptop-bound these days. Between tablets as consumption devices (slowly obsoleting the laptop), and cloud offerings becoming more and more varied (slowly obsoleting the server), there's just no room for companies that sell desktops--or the various Mom-and-Pop shops that put them together for you. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if all those parts I used to buy at Fry's Electronics and swap meets will start to disappear, too. Gamers keep desktops alive, and I don't know if there's enough money in that world to keep lots of those vendors alive. (I hope so, but I don't know for sure.)
• Home servers will start to grow in interest. This may seem paradoxical to the previous point, but I think techno-geek leader-types are going to start looking into "servers-in-a-box" that they can set up at home and have all their devices sync to and store to. Sure, all the media will come through there, and the key here will be "turnkey", since most folks are getting used to machines that "just work". Lots of friends, for example, seem to be using Mac Minis for exactly this purpose, and there's a vendor here in Redmond that sells a ridiculously-powered server in a box for a couple thousand. (This is on my birthday list, right after I get my maxed-out 13" MacBook Air and iPad 3.) This is also going to be fueled by...
• Private cloud is going to start getting hot. The great advantage of cloud is that you don't have to have an IT department; the great disadvantage of cloud is that when things go bad, you don't have an IT department. Too many well-publicized cloud failures are going to drive corporations to try and find a solution that is the best-of-both-worlds: the flexibility and resiliency of cloud provisioning, but staffed by IT resources they can whip and threaten and cajole when things fail. (And, by the way, I fully understand that most cloud providers have better uptimes than most private IT organizations--this is about perception and control and the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness when things go south, not reality.)
• Oracle will release Java8, and while several Java pundits will decry "it's not the Java I love!", most will actually come to like it. Let's be blunt, Java has long since moved past being the flower of fancy and a critic's darling, and it's moved squarely into the battleship-gray of slogging out code and getting line-of-business apps done. Java8 adopting function literals (aka "closures") and retrofitting the Collection library to use them will be a subtle, but powerful, extension to the lifetime of the Java language, but it's never going to be sexy again. Fortunately, it doesn't need to be.
• Microsoft will start courting the .NET developers again. Windows8 left a bad impression in the minds of many .NET developers, with the emphasis on HTML/JavaScript apps and C++ apps, leaving many .NET developers to wonder if they were somehow rendered obsolete by the new platform. Despite numerous attempts in numerous ways to tell them no, developers still seem to have that opinion--and Microsoft needs to go on the offensive to show them that .NET and Windows8 (and WinRT) do, in fact, go very well together. Microsoft can't afford for their loyal developer community to feel left out or abandoned. They know that, and they'll start working on it.
• Samsung will start pushing themselves further and further into the consumer market. They already have started gathering more and more of a consumer name for themselves, they just need to solidify their tablet offerings and get closer in line with either Google (for Android tablets) or even Microsoft (for Windows8 tablets and/or Surface competitors) to compete with Apple. They may even start looking into writing their own tablet OS, which would be something of a mistake, but an understandable one.
• Apple's next release cycle will, again, be "more of the same". iPhone 6, iPad 4, iPad Mini 2, MacBooks, MacBook Airs, none of them are going to get much in the way of innovation or new features. Apple is going to run squarely into the Innovator's Dilemma soon, and their products are going to be "more of the same" for a while. Incremental improvements along a couple of lines, perhaps, but nothing Earth-shattering. (Hey, Apple, how about opening up Siri to us to program against, for example, so we can hook into her command structure and hook our own apps up? I can do that with Android today, why not her?)
• Visual Studio 2014 features will start being discussed at the end of the year. If Microsoft is going to hit their every-two-year-cycle with Visual Studio, then they'll start talking/whispering/rumoring some of the v.Next features towards the middle to end of 2013. I fully expect C# 6 will get some form of type providers, Visual Basic will be a close carbon copy of C# again, and F# 4 will have something completely revolutionary that anyone who sees it will be like, "Oh, cool! Now, when can I get that in C#?"
• Scala interest wanes. As much as I don't want it to happen, I think interest in Scala is going to slow down, and possibly regress. This will be the year that Typesafe needs to make a major splash if they want to show the world that they're serious, and I don't know that the JVM world is really all that interested in seeing a new player. Instead, I think Scala will be seen as what "the 1%" of the Java community uses, and the rest will take some ideas from there and apply them (poorly, perhaps) to Java.
• Interest in native languages will rise. Just for kicks, developers will start experimenting with some of the new compile-to-native-code languages (Go, Rust, Slate, Haskell, whatever) and start finding some of the joys (and heartaches) that come with running "on the metal". More importantly, they'll start looking at ways to use these languages with platforms where running "on the metal" is more important, like mobile devices and tablets.

As always, folks, thanks for reading. See you next year.

• Hardware is the new platform. A buddy of mine (Scott Davis) pointed out on a mailing list we share that "hardware is the new platform", and with Microsoft's Surface out now, there's three major players (Apple, Google, Microsoft) in this game. It's becoming apparent that more and more companies are starting to see opportunities in going the Apple route of owning not just the OS and the store, but the hardware underneath it. More and more companies are going to start playing this game, too, I think, and we're going to see Amazon take some shots here, and probably a few others. Of course, already announced is the Ubuntu Phone, and a new Android-like player, Tizen, but I'm not thinking about new players--there's always new players--but about some of the big standouts. And look for companies like Dell and HP to start looking for ways to play in this game, too, either through partnerships or acquisitions. (Hello, Oracle, I'm looking at you.... And Adobe, too.)
• APIs for lots of things are going to come out. Ford just did this. This is not going away--this is going to proliferate. And the startup community is going to lap it up like kittens attacking a bowl of cream. If you're looking for a play in the startup world, pursue this.

As a post-Christmas gift to myself, I took a bit of the money that my folks gave us and bought myself a 64GB Surface. Couple of thoughts came to mind as I've sat down to play with this thing:

1. Microsoft doesn't sell a 64GB model with a Type keyboard? I know the touch-thing is, like, the new hotness with everyone, but frankly, having played with a friend's Surface and his (preferred) Touch keyboard cover, I think both he and Microsoft are smoking some serious crack if they think anyone can seriously touch-type on the touch keyboard. (To be fair, it's not just Microsoft, either--I can't effectively touch-type on my iPad or Galaxy Tab, either. I need the tactile feedback from the spring underneath the key and the edges of the keys themselves to know if I hit the key squarely or not.) More importantly, why on earth does Microsoft think that people buying the 64GB model won't want the Type cover? Or is this an insiduous ploy to force me to accept a bundle (the 64GB model apparently only comes with a Touch cover, not no cover at all) that I don't want? It certainly worked--I bought the 64GB with Touch cover for $699, then the Type cover by itself for another $129. (Let the conspiracists go crazy with that one.)
2. The packaging is awfully reminiscient of the iPad/iPhone/iPod packaging style. Nice to see that Microsoft can leverage good ideas.
3. So I fire this thing up, and the first thing I'm told is that there are 15 updates waiting. I'm all for keeping bits fresh and current and fixed, but this seems a bit excessive--why do so many apps need an update so quickly after its initial release? What's worse, the Store app doesn't tell you what these updates are for, as near as I can tell, so you can't tell which ones are crucial and which ones are just cosmetic. Kind of a fail there.
4. Wait, how do I right-click on this thing? Or has Microsoft finally come to the realization that one mouse button is all you need right about the time that Apple seems ready to accept that two buttons are, in fact, a superior way of life?
5. The form factor on this thing is a little bit larger than I expected for some reason. Not that I didn't really know how big it is (and it's not really all that big, at least not when compared to the Samsung tablet they gave us at //Build/ two years ago), but for some reason it just feels bigger than it is.
6. The keyboard makes me think of it as a laptop, not a tablet. I find myself wanting to go download Visual Studio and put a stripped-down version of it on here. (I even asked my buddy who had a Surface if he'd managed to do that yet, and he--gently--reminded me that since this is Windows RT, and an ARM processor, it won't run on here.)
7. Because I still wasn't convinced that this isn't a laptop, I tried to download Dropbox onto here. The Surface let me download the whole thing, then told me "This app cannot run on Surface". D'oh! Busted. I am an idiot.
8. But no Dropbox on here? Really, Microsoft? This seems like a fairly major oversight. I know, Sinofsky was not a "team player", but he's gone now: Find the Dropbox team, give them a ton of money and a few "We're sorry, we won't shut you out again, we promise" mea culpas, and get one of the most popular productivity apps on the planet on this thing. Seriously.
9. And while we're fixing things, can we please get the Store to be a little more responsive? I know the UX here is going for a "minimalist" vibe, but some part of me wants to see some whirlygigs or something going on while I'm downloading apps. (I, of course, will probably regret this in two years, and vehemently deny saying this when the whirlygigs make me long for a clean and simple interface after Microsoft jazzes it all up to the point of migraine-inducing snazziness.)
10. And why did the Store hang in the middle of doing my 15 updates and 4 app downloads? It may have been the Internet connection (I'm sitting in a restaurant as I do this, and restaurant WiFi is on par with hotel WiFI in its reliability and bandwidth), but if it is, give me some kind of indication and don't lock me out of doing anything. (The screen became entirely unresponsive.) That's silly.
11. Oh, and Evernote? After you install and start downloading my notes, same thing--don't get all silent on me and not tell me what's going on.
12. Wait, Word and Excel and PowerPoint and OneNote are just Office 2013 previews? Not the real thing? Interesting--will I get a free update when those go live, or is this just another "play for free for 90 days then we soak you for money" kinds of arrangements? (And if so, will I be able to use an MVP MSDN key to update/upgrade/install them?)
13. And now, post-reboot, Store won't launch--it just goes into the spinning circle of deathly dots. (Did I just coin that phrase? Can I copyright it?)

Which reminds me: whichever of BitBucket or GitHub manages to bring git or Mercurial over to the Surface (and iPad, and Android) will be a hell of a first-mover on integrating source control into peoples' daily lives. Can you imagine if GitHub and Dropbox joined forces? That would be interesting.